The Lost Child

chapter 20

Beth dragged Stephan to a closed room, to get rid of the drama in the air. Her grip was too tight on him and that made me ache for him. I saw it on his glassy eyes, the life taken away from him. His soul sucked out leaving him only a corpse. I looked away. That sight was boiling my organs, killing every nerve inside me. I couldn't stay there. Quickly sprinting upstairs, I hid in an opened room. The dust sprayed off the door as I swung it closed. I had to shake off the dust that covered me from head to toe. Feeling sore as I inhaled some accidentally.
The room seemed the royal wing, a huge bed with old torn blanket. Lying in the penumbra ,pieces of what seemed to be a curtain. Spiderwebs clinging to every piece in the room. The shelves, the wardrobe... Shredded books, leaving scraps of papers flying around. I was suffocating in here. I wanted to be alone to think straight but that was making everything worse. Despair filled me up as I felt the light depart my life. Why? Why do I have to lose someone ? The guilt that awoke inside me was drowning me up. I fell to my knees... My hands quickly flew to my neck trying to remove the invisible chain tightening there, pushing the air out of my lungs. I couldn't ignore the burning sting at the back of my eyes, I couldn't hold my tears in any longer. I let them flow out, dripping from my chin and soaking my clothes. Weeping and whining wasn't making it any better. I had to accept the reality. The reality that I can't escape from.
I was startled by a knock on the door. Standing upright and gently opening it, I saw him. His face or colours weren't visible in the penumbra but the sight at him made me ache. My heart was hovering in my chest. For a moment, my life sparkled. But the sparkle died away the moment he stepped in the light.

"Simon?" I said, shocked at my own question. You actually thought he was Stephan!? "Sorry I couldn't.. I..." My voice faded away and I bursted into tears again. Letting myself fall as my legs got shaky again. Simon caught me and laid me on his shoulder. That relaxing posture somehow made it worse. I couldn't keep it. Clawing his arm and soaking his shirt with tears. Screaming and hitting his chest. His gentle hands steadied me ,holding my face between his palms.

"Hey- hey! Calm down okay. "I ignored him "just take a deep breath- listen to me!" He shook me and the dizziness shook off with it. I heard myself stop at his tone. "It's.. It's not your fault, nor anyone's. Jesus ,Lia you can't keep doing this every time someone dies"

"Come on! Simon I know you're already in pieces right now... I know how close you were " my voice weaker at the last part and I wanted it back the moment it left my lips.

"Yea.." He let out. I saw the dark shadow cover his eyes as he seemed to recall a memory. His eyes turned red and teary "I have to be strong..we can't be both like that. Though I can't. I really can't " his voice cracked so hard "I miss him already. He was my backbone ,my guardian" he was aching so badly and I just stood there. I felt his muscles tighten under my arm. That was torture to him. Whatever I felt, his pain was so much harder. The deep gash  in his heart was deep enough to kill him. But he had to pretend. For me. And I had to pretend ,too.
He wiped my tears away, then his. Calming down and inhaling a several times.

"We need ,um, to go down to the others" my voice was still weak, I barely heard myself. He nodded ,helping me stand and we both walked down the old staircase. Cracking and making horrifying sounds, I clung to him. I surveyed the hallway we walked through. Just like home. Long and wide. I saw myself back there walking down the magnificent aisle. The portraits of our grandparents and Kings hanged in a pattern. Each one painted perfectly with a golden frame, sparkling diamonds and the edges. The memory made me feel alive. The red carpet flowing below us like the warm scarlet blood as it dripped from my gown back at the waterfall. But it all faded away, seeing everything as it really was. I saw the carpet clawed as if a monster was dragged in here, revealing parts of the old cracked ceramic below. The curtains were thin and shredded, leaving thin strips hovering in air was the wind blew threw the shattered windows. Rain and dust smudged the portraits and some of them had fallen down. I felt the rightful ancient kings' souls hovering around us, shameful of having wild creatures as heirs. I quickened my pace till I reached an open room, candles filling it. Everyone was in there. We stepped in. Uncomfortable by the sudden stare they all gave me.
I took the empty chair at the corner. Shrink, shrink. I felt their eyes burning my skin. I just wanted to disappear.
"You okay?" Phillip started and I noticed the concern in his tone. I nodded. I gave him a look 'later'.

"So what do we do with the corpse?" Beth started coldly and I couldn't stop myself.

"Maybe we'd put him in your old coffin, don't worry I'll make you a better one" that got her. She backed up in her chair and stared at me. Her glare made a chill run down my spine but I pretended so well. I was stronger. I could win this battle. And I would...