Don't regret. (Finished)

Something is happening with me

Brook's POV

I wake up feeling the arms of Jack in my waist, I don't know when we hug, or when we fall asleep but feel him so close makes me feel so happy, I would stay as we are all day. But I know we can't . God, anyone who saw us as we are now would say that we are a real couple. Although I know Jack would never see me like that.
Always when the fans ship us as a couple, he denies me completely and although he says that Jacklyn is real, I know that he is referring to a real friendship even if it hurts me.

I honestly don't know what to do, I feel so alone in this situation. The one I talk about most of what I feel is Jack but I can't talk about this to him, it would be like confessing my love and that would end so badly. I can imagine everything, how our friendship would be ruined, how could we not talk again as before, how he wouldn't longer trust me. All this makes me so sad. Why on earth did I have to fall in love with my best friend? I hate me and hate this whole situation.

I turn around slowly knowing that Jack is not going to wake up because he has a very heavy sleep and I face him, he keeps his hand on my waist while I watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful, his breathing is slow and it's as if he were the calmest person in this world. I don't know why but I want to watch every inch of his face at this moment like I never had before, we are so close that I can see every detail and admire him even though I feel a bit harassing.

He has messy hair, as always when he wakes up, his skin looks soft and perfect despite some small imperfections that make him look even more beautiful, his eyes are closed so I can't say much about them but I can appreciate the small lines under them that form in him, his nose is straight and completely perfect, I always loved Jack's nose although it sounds very strange. His lips are a little dry and broken but they look a perfect pink, they are fleshy and I could kiss them right now but I would never do it without his consent.

I look at the lines of his chin and I'm tempted to raise my hand and pass them around, they look so firm and a little beard is growing and it's driving me crazy. I risk it and I caress it with delicacy so as not to wake him up, it's a bit rough but I love it. I move my hand away before he wakes up and I stare at him for a few more seconds until he opens his eyes and meets mine.
"Good morning" he yawns and pulls away from me so quickly that it even hurts me. "What were you doing?" He frowns
"Nothing, I was going to wake you up but you beat me"
"Okay ... I'm going to take a shower," he says and gets up.

I spent most of the afternoon thinking about Jack and trying to act normal with everyone but while we were recording content for vlogs I was thinking and decided that I have to talk about what I feel with someone, I was never good at keeping secrets and less if they are mine. I need to express myself with someone in some way, I can't live with this as if nothing. I could tell Rye but I don't know, I'm afraid for some reason. I also thought about telling Mikey how I wanted to tell him a few days ago but I don't know how he could react, I don't say he would react badly but I don't know. So finally after thinking about it for at least 3 hours I made a decision.

I knock on the door of Andy's room knowing that he is there surely writing a song, he always writes but never finish writing. He is the one with the great ideas.
"Come in" I heard that he says from the inside, I always knocked on his door because I know he doesn't like it very much that people invade.
"Hey" I enter his room and my heart beats too fast, I'm so nervous.
"Hey, what happened?" He closes his letter notebook and puts it aside.
"I wanted to talk to you about something" I sit on the edge of his bed and feel my hands sweat.
"Yes, tell me" he also sits down and looks at me expectantly.

I always saw Andy as my older brother, I usually bother him and he teases me and bother me too but deep down we love each other unconditionally and always feel that he protects me as if he were really my big brother so I decided that it would be best to talk with him. He's always understandable and although we are all open on different issues, Andy is the one who knows best how to treat them and talk about them. And I know what he says, he's going to support me and even help me so even though I'm nervous to tell him my feelings, I'm not afraid.

"Something is happening with me" I started talking "a few days ago I'm thinking about this and at first I was very afraid of what I was feeling but now I'm sure of it and I need to talk to someone and I think you're the best for that"
He stares at me for a few seconds before answering.
"Tell me Brook, you know you can trust me with everything and I'm not going to judge you"
I open my mouth to speak but the words are stuck for at least half a minute, Andy waits patiently and that makes me feel comfortable so I just say it.
"I'm in love with Jack"