Don't regret. (Finished)

Soft

Brook's POV

His lips feel soft and moist, like any other lips but I know they are not any lips, they are Jack's lips and they are kissing me. Jack is kissing me and I'm kissing Jack, I feel something in my stomach that is stirring and I'm more focused on that than the kiss for a few seconds until I feel how Jack open his mouth a little, just a little. I didn't expect him to do it, I thought it was just going to be a short and dry kiss but he's opening his mouth and it's at that moment that everything bad that I thought and think disappears and I start to open my mouth.

I grabbed his face in my hands and tried to bring him closer to me although I think it's impossible, our lips move in synchrony and I feel that I'm in heaven, he doesn't touch me with anything other than his lips but continues with the kiss, the best kiss of my life so far. I just want to keep kissing him because it feels so good, to have him in this way, I feel that the world could end now. We keep kissing and we keep kissing, we separated for two seconds to take a breath and again our lips collide to continue with the kiss, I never would have imagined that this would happen in this way but I love it.

Jack's POV

I don't know why I keep kissing Brook, I don't even know how we got to kiss each other so much. I don't know how much we are here kissing but I don't want to stop, not yet. Somehow it feels good and otherwise it feels bad and I don't know why. It's like I don't know anything at this moment, everything I can think about is nothing. I don't move from my place, I don't try to touch Brook, I just enjoy the kiss with my eyes closed while I move my lips against his and I know I have to stop this kiss because Brook is not going to do it and I don't want stop this, but I have to, I can't continue with this.
"Brook," I say between his lips, I put my hand on his chest and pull him away from me.

We parted and kept our foreheads together, I felt her breathing and it was agitated like mine. I look at Brook and he still has his eyes closed, I take a deep breath and I don't know what's happening to me right now but I walk my hand across his chest to his face and I leave it on his cheek for him to look at me, he opens his eyes and looks at me fixedly, our closeness overwhelms me so I separate a little more from him. "Sorry"
It's the only thing I can say before I get off the couch and leave the room, I don't know why I do it, I just know that I need to think far away from Brook.
I don't know what that kiss was and why I let it last so long.

I'm too confused and I need space to think so I walk towards my room, grab the first diver I find and hurry to the exit of the house, I hear the voice of Mikey tell me something from the kitchen but I'm already leaving the house to answer him, besides I don't even want to answer him. I just want to go as far as possible and think, in me, in Brook, in his confession, in the kiss.
I walk away from the house without even knowing where to go really, I just walk and think, is the only thing I can do now.
Brooklyn, my best friend, with whom I share a thousand things, the one I trust the most in this world. Brooklyn the boy I just kissed.
I don't even know if I regret doing it. I wanted
to keep kissing him? Yes. Why? I don't know.

I'm 100% sure I don't like Brook in that way, I'm not in love or feel any physical attraction to him so the fact that I kissed him like I did has no explanation for me. Maybe it was just a moment of fever because for a long time I haven't kissed anyone and I like to kiss, maybe I just wanted that. Kiss someone and Brook was there.
Suddenly I feel guilty because it means that I use Brooklyn and that I probably gave him false hope. God, I'm an idiot. Brook is going to be devastated when I tell him that I don't feel anything for him really, that it was only the moment and I let myself be carried away by the situation but for me it didn't mean anything because it really didn't mean anything.

It couldn't have meant anything. Brook and I are friends and we are always going to be friends even though there is a kiss in between. Anyway, it's just a kiss, there are people who kiss for fun. I don't know how I'm going to tell him this but I know it's going to be difficult. I keep spinning the issue in my head for a while.
I don't know how long I walk but a considerable time has passed, I don't even know where I am but I know how to get back because all I did was walk down this dirt road, it's impossible for me to get lost. I turn around and start my way home again, this time without thinking about Brook or anything, just looking at the landscape.

There is a lake and many trees, I can also see horses and some isolated houses. This is one of the quietest places I've lived since I moved to London and I like it because it reminds me of my life in Ireland.
While I remember my childhood in my home I see our house in the distance, I don't know if I am ready to face the boys, I don't even know what I'm going to tell them if they ask me why I left. It's like today is the day of not knowing for me.

***

I go into the house and the first thing I see is that everything is clean and that Brook is on the couch talking to a girl that I don't know, they don't look at me but I do and I don't know what to think about the situation. I stop looking at them when Ryan talks to me.
"Jack, where were you?"