Don't regret. (Finished)

A note.

"I'm in love with Jack" said Brook and that's what I least expected him to tell me, I mean, I always thought there was something between them, something much bigger than just a friendship but I never expected Brook to tell me this in the way he is telling me. He's nervous and even afraid and I don't like to see him like that at all.
"It's alright ... there's nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of" I kept trying to stop him from clenching his hands the way he is doing. "Tell me how it was"

While Brook tells me the things from the beginning I can't avoid think how happy makes me that at last one of them is admitting this out loud. Almost always when we got serious about the subject they denied it and said that they only did it as a joke but neither I nor any of the boys really believed him, now I understand that not even they could really believe it. The way Brook tells me the things makes me understand that all this is new for him so I imagine Jack must feel the same or maybe not.

The situation worries me a little because Jack is pretty close with the theme "Jacklyn" and if he keeps it this way the only one who will get hurt in all this is Brook, and I don't want that for him, or for anyone. Brook is the closest thing to a brother that I have.

Brook's POV

After talking for more than two hours with Andy of my feelings and listening to his advice I decide it's time to go to bed, I'm tempted to go to Jack's but I think it would be too much, I don't know how many nights we slept together and I don't want Jack to think that I have ulterior motives even though I have them.

I say goodbye to Andy and go to my room, as soon as I enter in it I realize what a mess it is. I have to order my things a little bit but at this moment I'm too tired to do it so I only lift the clothes in my bed to leave them on the floor and I lie facing the wall. In my mind I reviewed the last days of my life and I can't avoid smile at the thought that I am finally accepting things and talking to people about it. It makes me so happy but I'm still afraid of what Jack might think, it's kind of hard that your best friend be in love with you.

* Sunday afternoon *

Jack's POV
The boys and I decided that today we are going to go out to dinner because there are a couple of days left before Christmas and we want to have a "formal" dinner before we all go home for the next week. It's always weird to go home even though it's one of the best things too, we spend time with our family, our friends and we rest a bit of everything so I am happy for this although I always end up missing the boys. And how not to miss them? Passed 24/7 with them, I'm too used to hear them scream or break things, my house is a museum compared to this.

***

Once ready we decided to take a taxi to go to the restaurant if we want to drink something later and since we are 5 we have to call two taxis, as always I go with Brook because for some reason we are good together. Mikey, Rye and Andy take the other one.
On the way Brook and I don't say much, maybe some or other comment on something we see out there but most of the time we are just stuck in our thoughts but as I always say I love our silences.

***

We went to Nando's and sat at a table of 5, I decided to sit next to Ryan right in front of Brook.

Brook's POV

We talk about a couple of nonsense before the waitress comes to ask for our orders, and we all choose what we are going to eat. I ask for a Nandocas' choice because it looks interesting and while Jack asks for his food I can not avoid notice how the girl is looking at him and how she even talks to him. It's definitely flirting and I don't like it at all.
The worst part is that Jack also flirts.

I feel like my heart breaks at this moment, I just want to cry and leave but I know I can't do it, it would be too obvious. God, why does this have to happen to me? I hate this feeling, I hate that Jack doesn't feel the same. I stop looking at them because if I keep doing it I think I'm going to die, I look down because I don't know where else to look, I know that if I look at the boys they might notice my pain and if they ask me I wouldn't have an answer. After a few seconds looking at my legs I realize that I look a little silly so I take my phone out of my pants and pretend to look at my nets. The girl is still talking, I can hear her voice but I don't know what she is talking about or with whom and I don't want to know. I just want this to end.

"Brook" I hear they say suddenly, I lift my head from the phone and I see that the boys are watching me waiting.
"What? What happened?"I ask without really looking at them. They ask me something and then they start talking about the new cover, "Bohemian Rhapsody", I pretend to pay attention to the conversation but I can't do it so I just nod with my head from time to time.
When the waitress brings us the food I see how she gives a note.
"surreptitiously" to Jack and winks at him, he smiles and saves the paper and I never feel that something in this life has hurt me so much.