i had all and then most of you/some and now none of you/take me back to the night we met/i don't know what i'm supposed to do/haunted by the ghost of you
i'm missing you a lot today.
it's strange to come to the conclusion that i haven't really grieved the loss of you. and it's strange to come to that conclusion while watching a show on netflix.
it's strange that all i needed was for someone else to grieve the loss of their love on the screen in front of me for me to really see what is happening within me.
i haven't grieved the loss of you. not really. i tell myself i have.
and i don't know if i have grieved and i'm just telling myself this because i feel like i've been hurting for too long, or if i haven't grieved you and this is just all coming in waves and it's overwhelming me.
i just know it hurts.
i miss you. more than i ever thought was capable of myself. but my god it hurts.
i really don't know what to do with myself. and it sounds stupid to say that. it sounds cliché. but it's true.
i don't know what to do with you not around.
i wish i could've done things differently.
i wish i didn't push you away.
i miss you. too much for words to describe. too much for the tears in my eyes to show. too much.
i miss you.
i love you. still. after it all.
i love you. i'm sorry.
YOU ARE READING
for the boy i had to let go
Short Storywritings about the love i had to let go, that has yet to let go of me.