𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙇𝙪𝙫 [𝘐𝘵 𝘍𝘢𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘤]

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧.

A/N Okay okay before i start this chapter i wanna warn you it's going to get a little nsfw so if you don't want to read it, skip it. Also i think i suck at writing smut so just don't tell me if i do suck. Don't tell me i didn't warn you.
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"I'm freaking the fuck out, Red!"

"How so?"

"I don't know I'm just losing my mind trying to figure out who you are!"

"You've been trying to figure out who i am?"

"yes! and i have 2 friends who i think you might be, but it's driving me mad!"

Stan heard Red draw in a deep breath. Almost as if he was scared.

"Well who are those people?"

"I...I can't tell you. I'm scared you'll find out who I am."

"Fine. Just, describe them to me."

Stan took a deep breath as he thought everything over for a moment.

"Okay. So, one of them, he's a catch. He's hot, strong, kindhearted and responsible. He's literally the whole package and I had a huge crush on him for a while-"

"Wow, he sounds great. I would totally date him."

"Yeah, he is great. Now the other one. Man, me and him have history. We met back in elementary and between you and me, he was my first kiss. It was for experiment for him, but for me it was so much more. I could talk for years about everything I like about him, but I'll spare you the time."

It was silent for far more than Stan's liking.

"Tell me more."

"Well he has this amazing wild black hair. I imagined myself running my fingers through his hair on multiple occasions. And his hands. I imagine them all over me. His lips are my favorite though. They look chapped, but so soft at the same time. I want them all over me too. He's like the human representation of a wet dream-"

And suddenly he heard a strangled noise from the other end of the phone and some shuffling. Was he-

"Red?"

"Fuck you, Birdie."

"Yeah, I bet you wish you could."

"Fuck off."

In a more appropriate way, the night ended very interestingly.

A/N This sucks, sorry. I'll do better next time.

Fact#7: I'm 13 years old