The Snowy-haired Genius

Chapter twenty-nine

"Feeling my way through the darkness... guided by a beating heart. I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start."

I watched Winter as he played the piano and sang along. His voice was beautiful and his eyes were closed. "They tell me I'm too young to understand. They say I'm caught up in a dream. Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes... And that's fine by me."

He smiled in the comfort of the song. "So wake me up when it's all over. When I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was time I was finding myself, and I... didn't know I was lost."

When the song was over, Winter opened his eyes as if realizing he had been singing. He blinked a few times and looked at me. "Why did we take you?" He asked, stroking my face. I didn't answer, I just looked up into his bright blue eyes.

He slowly lifted my shirt and I didn't stop him. "I have so many questions." He said, looking down at my scarred stomach. "I noticed when I first saw you shirtless, but I didn't say anything. I just want to know why."

"I used to get sad." Was all I could seem to say. But when his eyes met mine, I noticed the sadness. I took note of the desperate look.

The words spilled out of me. Words I kept hidden my entire life. "It wasn't sadness. It was emptiness, and it wouldn't leave, and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't feel. I didn't care. The only thing that would make me feel was pain and blood. When I first saw the blood, I cried. Really hard. And I swore that I would never do it again but the next day I had a bad day at school. Someone who I thought was my friend had asked me what had happened, but when I said I wasn't okay, they left. They ran. So then that night, when I arrived home, I went into the bathroom with a knife and cut again." I pointed at a small one on my side. "That was that one. The words," I ran my finger along the small letters that spelled Freak over my belly button. "Were when my brothers only called me a freak for two months of my life. Every time the letters began to disappear, I would trace over them with a razor blade, deeper each time." My vision went blurry when tears filled my eyes, but I kept talking. I had more scars, but three, including the two before, really stood out. The last one was long and thick. It went straight across my stomach and was the most noticeable. "This is the biggest one. I just had a bad day, and for some reason I was done. I used a knife, and it was really sharp, and... and the cut was so deep I had to go to hospital and get it stitched up."

"Jason..." He let my shirt drop and tried to gather me in his arms. I shook my head and sniffled, wiping away my tears. "No, please don't. Not now."

"I just... Want to help you."

"I need... I need to calm down. It was ages ago. Okay, okay." I muttered to myself, then tugged on Winter's sleeve. Automatically, he put his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head.

I broke apart. I let go of the tears I kept hidden, I let go of all the emotions I kept up inside me. My walls came tumbling down before my very eyes. Suddenly, Winter knew about all my insecurities. He knew how I really felt about myself. He knew about my scars. He knew how to break me.

And it was scary.

I never really let anybody see how I really felt. It was a new experience, letting somebody see me cry. I didn't like it. So I managed to pull myself together and sit back up, wiping away my tears. "Don't." I said before Winter could say anything. "Do not mention this ever again."

"Got it." He smiled, a sparkle in his eyes. He leant forward and pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was sweet, and probably my favourite kiss we had shared so far. His hand was on my chin, tilting my head upwards and I was holding onto his shirt like he would disappear if I let go.

When we finally dropped away from each other, I was blushing and Winter had a small smile on his face. Not one of his sexy smirks, just a small, shy, genuine smile. I loved that look on him.

"When is this going to end?" I asked him, tilting my head slightly.

His smile turned sad. "I don't know, Jace. I really don't know."