Air Catcher

Standing Cowardly

Tyler's pov

I didn't talk to Alyx that night like I most nights I couldn't sleep. And yet tonight was worse than most nights. I gave up trying to sleep somewhere between where ultra-tired and can't-possibly-stay-awake-any-longer should have been. Instead I sat cross legged on my floor and hummed to myself while wrote down ideas for lyrics.

'Won't you go to someone else's head?' I bit my pencil for a minute and thought. 'Empty sky no way that's me, cause one half of my heart is free; empty sky no way that's me cause the other half of my heart's asleep.' Maybe I wouldn't put them right next to each other, but they would be pretty cool in the same song.

The distraction wasn't working. What was I expecting? Josh was always joking about cute girls being into me. This was apparently no different. I was disappointed, of course, but I knew one thing. No matter what, this was the first and last night I'd lose sleep over her.

Alyx's pov

'Are you awake?' I sent the message.

'Yeah, what's up?'

'Nothing, I just can't sleep.' I sighed.

'I thought you went to Tyler for this normally.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Well I mean I do but...'

'What?' Hannah asked.

'Nothing.' I tried to brush it off.

'Why can't you talk to Tyler?' She asked.

'Because I screwed everything up.' I admitted.

'How so?'

'He asked me if I liked him and I told him we should just be friends. I always thought that was what I wanted but now...' Why not gush my feelings to the world?

'Oh honey...' I felt like she was pitying me, and i despised it until she sent another text. 'Do I need to sing that song from Hercules to you?'

I rolled my eyes. 'No. But I'm even more of an idiot than Meg and I don't think I can fix it.'

'Yeah you can, just ask him out.'

'Yeah, you're right,' I responded. 'No big deal I just have to ASK HIM OUT.'

She started typing something but I didn't give her the chance to finish.

'It's not like I'll have to spend a week building enough courage to or that he might not even want to talk to me ever again. Not to mention I'm not even sure this is what I want yet.' I could feel panic already rising in my throat, climbing with my emotions.

'Alyx...'

'Ok, fine. I like him a lot. Like more than I thought was possible, and I hate myself for it. I don't know why, but I do. And yes, I want to be his girlfriend, but I'm scared to death. I don't know how it'll work or how long it will last or how bad the end will be. High school relationships almost never amount to anything except broken hearts. I don't want to be feeling this.'

'If something makes you happy you work for it, Alyx. You have faith in it. I don't know the future, but I know just from watching you two that you make each other happy, so you have to get him.' I could hear her voice in my head, calming me.

'You're one of my favorite people.' I typed.

'Love you, sweetheart. Now get some sleep.'

'I'll try.'