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[[ H A R R Y ]]
Me: Megan I need to talk to you.
If I'm going to have a god damn emotional breakdown, I'm going full out bitch mode on everyone. I'm so upset right now. I love that girl and all she does is hurt me. She tells me she likes me and then kisses Alex.
When did all of this become so complicated? I never planned any of this. I thought that it'd be me and her and everything would be okay, but it's not and I can't stop this lump in my throat. I can't hold back my years. I'm just a boiling pot left on too long.
ugh Megan: ok? are you going to come over?
ugh Megan: I could use a little bit of Harry.
Me: how about no.
Me: you and I haven't been together in months.
Me: I literally dumped you three months ago but you refuse to acknowledge that
Me: you and I aren't a thing, Megan.
Me: I don't like you.
Me: you're a bitch, you constantly act like you're better than everyone else, and you refuse to treat anybody but yourself nicely
Me: I only dated you because that's what everyone expected
Me: we've been over. we are over.
Me: don't call me asking to "hang out"
Me: don't kiss me when you think I'm being cranky when in reality I just don't want you around
Me: don't act like we're dating when we're not
I sigh. Suddenly I've said all this stuff and I just feel worse about my situation.
Me: look I'm sorry
Me: it's just....
Me: you and I have had three and a half years of history but
Me: I recently met this girl
Me: and I am crazy in love with her.
Me: and I just can't be with you when I want her. I'm sorry Megan.
Me: it's unfair to string you along when i have no feelings for you
Me: you deserve someone who loves only you
Me: if it's an consolation I think Alex is single
Maybe I shouldn't of added in that last part. I really need to work on this "thinking before saying" thing.
I just honestly don't know what to do now. I lost Maggie and I dumped Megan. But even though I dumped Megan, I don't feel like it changes anything with Maggie. She's still out there with Alex.
Alex isn't even the guy she thinks he is. Alex goes through women faster than Taylor Swift goes through men. He literally told me last week about some blonde he "hooked up" with. I imagine he was talking about sex, but I was talking to Maggie at the time, so I didn't care.
Despite being pissed off as hell about the whole Alex thing, I'm still worried as hell that she's going to get her heart broken. I won't even be able to help her. I don't want to see her cry. I'd literally fall to pieces if Maggie cries.
