[[ M A G G I E ]]
Eleven days. I am just an awful person. I miss him like crazy. I really, really, want to text him. I'm so close to breaking down and I know that I'm not going to last much longer. I'm going to text him and I'm going to just look like a clingy idiot. It's going to be so embarrassing, but I'll feel so much better afterwards. I just miss somebody who jokes around with me and makes me smile. I miss talking to somebody until I fell asleep and I don't know... I just miss having somebody. I miss him.
I'm sure I would like Brandon if I wasn't comparing him to somebody else. I'm just so bad at this dating thing. I really need to adopt a cat. I have a feeling it'll be the first of many, many cats. Might as well get a head start.
"I want a cat."
"Maggie, you already have a pussy, please."
"Really, Tim, really?"
"Oh, sorry, we're at school." He huffs. "Too bad I don't give a fuck."
I miss him. Twelve days ago I would've been texting him and telling him about whatever I was watching on Netflix last night. He'd say something annoyingly funny, I'd laugh, and then tell him he's not funny. I'd probably change his contact name to something stupid and wait for him to understand that subtle hints of what I changed it to. My favorite will always be Hannah Montana or Esteban. He's so fucking weird, I swear.
Me: i miss you.
Me: a lot.
Me: honestly this sucks. I feel like I made a huge mistake telling you i needed space. I don't know why I said it. I was just confused because i like you but like i don't know. this is just so weird. i've never had this happen and idk if it's possible to like somebody when you don't know them.
Me: you're so nice and sweet and funny and amazing and you're always there for me
Me: i mean I know we've had our issues and stuff. like arguments and problems but
Me: i don't worry about that stuff because i know that the good outweighs the bad
Me: and i miss our friendship and having someone to talk to
Me: and you in general
Me: i'm really sorry
Me: please forgive me
Me: please answer
Me: i'm looking like an idiot with this big huge apology and no response
Me: anSWERRR
Me: this is just clingy now
Me: wow
Me: i look like a fucking idiot
Me: ugh
Me: sorry
Me: bye
[[ H A R R Y ]]
I sent her those stupid texts two days ago. I never got a response back. I just ended up deleting the whole conversation because I can't stand looking at my apology knowing she probably read it and didn't say anything. Fuck. I can't believe she's gone. She's really gone. She's moved on. And I practically let her leave. This wouldn't of happened if I just had said something from the beginning.
I guess her absence hurts less lately. Megan has been hanging around 24/7 since Sonic. Her newest conversation is college and prom. She's already looking at tuxes for prom. She wants my bow-tie to match her dress. She always wanted to know what college I was going to and I said I didn't know yet. She now wants me to apply for her college and I said I'd think about it.
I'm probably not going to. I'm definitely not ready for college talk yet. I still have a good four months of high school left. That's enough time. Right? I really hope so. Honestly, I'm just not ready. I need to get a tutor for AP Psych, seriously. If I fail this class my mom will kill me. She wants me to be a psychologist just like her.
Me: hey tim
Me: do you think maggie would be available to help me with psych?
Me: i'll pay her
Tim: dude
Tim: i gave you her number
Tim: why don't you ask her?
Me: because
Me: if i ask
Me: she may say no
Or she may know that I'm the one texting her.
Me: so i was hoping I could get your help
Tim: dick pics first
Me: never.
Me: not until i get your girlfriend's virginity
Tim: .......
Tim: that can be arranged
Me: dude
Me: are you gay?
Tim: only for you
Tim: and maybe Stiles Stilinski
Tim: don't judge me
Me: i'm only slightly judging you
Tim: i love you
Me: pls don't
Tim: HARRY EDWARD STYLES
Tim: YOU AND I
Tim: 4 EVERRRRRRR
Me: i'm going away now
++
this chapter is dedicated to DarcyEdwardStyles bc she's so sweet.
