Angel Valhalla

Fourty-two

"Hi Lilith"

I heard in that same voice that I had once dreamed about. The sound of my name on his lips sounded so pretty and lovely I always thought. That was the afterthought after my stomach had dropped as I looked at the tall man across the balcony from me. He looked so different and yet so much the same. This was so strange, was I dreaming? So many questions, so many feelings, so many things and words running across my mind that I didn't even know if I could get a sentence out.

"It's you? What are you doing here?!"  It was Cam. His face had haunted my dreams at first. Eventually,  I managed to dull it out so that I didn't have to think about it all the time. But it was always there. That little seed of longing and love.  Buried deep in my chest. Everyday I kept it from sprouting. I had gotten so good at it, that eventually I stopped believing in you. I thought that had been the end. A chapter of my life closed. A chapter I would move on from and never talk again and with time I would forget that it even happened. Because my life would be completely and truly different from now on.  I had chosen a different path, and grown to accept reality. To stop being a victim and crying about my life and just taking it by the rails. I had made my own decisions and that was it. And yet, here he stood in front of me. Cruel fate spitting in my face and proving me wrong once again. And yet, I was incredibly and truly happy.

I lost my composure. It was my tight firm lips that gave in on a tremble and my eyes began to go blind with tears.  It was really him, and he was standing before me. He looked a little different but nonetheless it really was him. My heart bloomed and tears ran down my cheeks.
Through tears I looked at him, afraid that he might disappear.

He stepped forward and leaned closer to the rail, his brows scrunched up together in a sad puppy way, "You know why I'm here. I've missed you."

I scrambled to lean forward against the rail, it's like we're both being pushed forward by a magnetic force. I feel the tears run down my face and vanish into the wind. The sun has set.  Finally. And the stars were beginning to come out now. In this moment, Cam made me so happy. Even if it didn't last.

I hear the door slide open behind me and quickly wipe my tears and painfully tear my eyes apart from Cam.

Behind me, my husband stands.

He looks incredibly tired, but nevertheless handsome. When did he never. "Hey I'm home, Im gonna make a phone call, take a quick shower so we..." he begins to say and then his voice quickly dies out as he realizes there's another man in the balcony next door to us. He turns to look at him and smiles in a very business like matter.

"How are you liking the apartment? I'm Nick, this is my wife Lilith." He suddenly says, his full attention on Cam. His voice is sincere and I'm thinking Nick sounds a little too friendly. He's putting on that facade again.

Cam doesn't answer right away, he quickly shoots me a look and raises his left eyebrow.

I'm fucked.

"It has a really nice view, thanks." He quickly says as he turns around and walks inside shutting the door firmly right behind him.

Meanwhile, Nick still continues to look at that same exact spot Cam was. Confused and irritation running across his face. He murmurs something like "asshole" under his breath and turns to look at me,"Anyways, I'm gonna shower so we can have dinner."

"I'll go set the table. " I quickly reply as I slide past him and through the door. I couldn't be with him right now. I was point five seconds from punching something in frustration.
I made a quick getaway and hurried into the bedroom closing the door firmly shut behind me. I ran to the mirror and looked at myself. My chest was heaving up and down like a machine. My hands went to my neck and out from under the cloth I pulled out my necklace.  I looked down at the beautiful delicate thing.

You know why I'm here.

He was right. I did know. He had come back for me. He had fulfilled his promise. And I? What did I do? I shut him away, gave up on him. Married another man and now he was
my neighbor.  I don't know how I could look him in the face now.  I had failed us both.

What do I do? How do I fix this?

I needed to talk to him. To see him. I decided that I would go to him tomorrow morning morning. After Nick left for work.  For the remainder of the night I shoved the topic out of my mind the best I could and continued with the facade.

It wasn't until night that I could drop the facade and finally rest my mind. And even then, I didn't rest. Because almost all night, until about  3 am. my mind did not stop. Cam Kingsley's had come back for me. He was here. And tomorrow I would go see him.