Random Open Letters to Random People

To you whom I loved the most.

I wrote this as soon as I felt it. I do not know if I should tell you so that I could ease myself or I should not so that there would be no more further awkward tension between us both. So I would just only write it in here and let fate decide if she wants you to learn of this.

I just suddenly woke up and the first thing I did was not go through your social media accounts like I regularly do, the sole places where I could get a dose of your thoughts, your smile, your face, you. It felt indifferent. It was weird and fulfilling yet contradicting. Contradiction in a way that, "What am I feeling? I shouldn't- I don't know"

Then I started questioning my feelings for you. I asked myself if the love I felt for you suddenly became a kind of obligation. It didn't feel right. These past few days, I felt tired. And I kind of thought of it.

It was so tiring to love alone. It is so tiring to fight and keep on going for a love that only one person is involved. I keep on thinking that you might be in her arms but you will surely return once you would realize how strong and how undying and long I can love you. I kept loving you even if I had no rights, even if I was challenged by distance and received judgement of being a fool from lots of people. I loved you. I loved you, nevertheless.

I do not know if it is because my love is unrequited, that I seem to have lost all of what I feel for you. Or I felt so drained and tired of the same shit over and over again. I might be indeed weak for I was not able to keep my love until the time you would return it.

I just want you to know that I've stopped. And if ever you want to return back to me, it ain't possible anymore. For she was strong but deeply inside, that was what she only wanted to be and she truly was one weak girl and she was tired.

I guess you're happy now, and there's nothing else I would wish for you. I just hope you'd hope I'd be happy.