My Name is Stab

Chapter Thirteen - Laura

Suddenly Mike was walking down the hillside towards us. The look in his eyes was terrifying... absolutely terrifying... and I was on his side. It looked as if he had gone through insane and out the other side.

And then Phil was behind us, screaming, simply screaming at Mike that he needed to get himself back under control. Somehow he managed to break through the wall of insanity. Mike nodded and returned to whatever it was he was supposed to be doing. I just collapsed, face down in the bracken.

I don't know how long I lay there but suddenly James was there. There were tears streaming down his face but I could hear his concern for me in his voice. "Are you OK?" he asked.

I was pretty much certain that I would never be OK again but I was not wounded and that was what he meant so I gave him a nod.

"We've got to get moving. The rest of their army could come at any time."

Another nod. I let him haul me to my feet. I suppose he had every right to be even more upset than me but he was forcing himself to keep doing what he needed to do. So I suppose I had to do the same. We owed it to Laura.

I looked numbly down at the slice of hell below us. The little valley was filled with dead and broken Red Sleeves

"Don't go anywhere near them," James said, taking my hand to make sure I was still listening. "They've got the plague."

Another nod.

"The five of us have to put ourselves into quarantine," he explained, turning me round so I was forced to meet his eye. He needed to be sure I was following what he was saying.

I nodded once more but then I froze once again as I saw Laura's crumpled frame clutched in Sampson's arms like a broken rag doll. The huge man had tears streaming down his face.

And for the first time since my sister had died, I thought about someone else. At least I had only lost one mother. Poor James had just lost a second. I managed to give the hand I was still holding a slight squeeze.

"Come on," he said, controlling his emotions with a visible effort. "She'd be the first to tell us, 'Get the job finished first.'"

The six - or five - of us began to move up the hillside and towards home.

When we returned, we went straight to the barn where we sat in silence for a while. Then someone brought hot water over from the house and Phil instructed us to wash ourselves thoroughly. He had been talking to Susan though, because of fear of the plague, they had to conduct their conversation with shouts across the yard.

When we were done, James and Sampson started to wash Laura's hands and face. Ashley and I looked at each other and, with an unspoken agreement, we went to join them. "We'll take it from here," Ashley told the men.

I had never really understood the whole 'laying out the dead' thing but now we were confronted with the awful reality of it all, it sort of made sense. It wasn't much but at least it was a gesture.

When we were finished and had wrapped her body in an old sheet, James went and sat on his own in a corner of the barn. He looked so utterly devastated that I thought I ought to do something but didn't know what so I used his own trick back on him. I went and sat close enough so he could choose whether he wanted to be with me or on his own.

After a couple of minutes he reached out and touched me on the arm. "Mike and me will finish off your military training," he promised. "Mike knows the stuff even better than Laura did, he just doesn't have her patience. The two of us'll work something out between us for you."

I was touched. Though he was desperate with his own grief, he was still thinking about me.

About mid-morning the next day, Mike gave us a shout from across the yard. He told us that he had dug half the grave and that he would keep the garden free if Sampson wanted to finish it off.

We all went up to join him. It was a break from the four walls of the barn and, besides, we wanted to help with the grave, even if it was only a gesture. In the end, I managed to be of real use. The soil up there was very rocky and, because I was so skinny, I could fit in the hole with Sampson and help him by positioning a crow bar as he lifted the rocks.

When we were done, we all gathered for the burial. It was a strange affair because the two sets of mourners had to stay ten yards apart but at least everyone was there to pay their last respects. Sampson said a few simple but heartfelt words over her body and then we laid her to rest.

We made it back to the barn and then, I guess, I just collapsed.

When she next became aware of the world around her, Theodora was huddled up on James's lap and he was rocking her gently... like one of his baby sisters. She looked up at him and, as a fresh wave of grief washed over her he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

Only then did she realise that she was crying.

Theodora wanted to stay like that forever, cuddled up on her big brothers lap, letting him look after her and making the nasty world go away but I couldn't let her. I had a job to do. So I eased Theodora out of the way. I suppose you could say that I put her back in her box.

At the same time, I eased myself out of James's lap and sat next to him on the bale though I did keep hold of his hand. Theodora demanded that much. "Thank you," I said. "I'm sorry."

"I'll just about accept your thanks," he told me, "but not your apology. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for. I'm there for you. We're there for each other. Laura would have demanded nothing less from us." He gave me a sad smile.

I had to make sure Theodora was safely locked up in her box at that point or she would have started crying again.