My Name is Stab

Chapter Nineteen - Big Black Uncle

I thought about it long and hard and, by the Sunday, I had reached a decision. I chose my moment carefully and went to find Sampson when I knew he would be alone down in the guard cottage

"Hello," I said, without bothering with any unnecessary words. If I thought about it too much I'd panic and run away or just die of embarrassment. "I'd like you to make love to me."

"What?"

"You heard me. Please don't make me beg."

"But you won't hardly let no one touch you."

"I've decided it's what I want and so I'll let you touch me."

Samson sat and looked at me for a while. "It's not that I don't, like, fancy you," he said at last. "But this is a funny sort of thing to be asking someone - 'specially someone what's a lot older than you. I got to understand what it's all about. I love you but sort of like an uncle. I don't want you to be, like, sorry afterwards."

I looked up at him and smiled. Samson wasn't good with words but, like everything else about him, his heart was huge.

"You know that Mike, James and I are going off after that gang."

He nodded.

"Now I know Mike is good and James isn't bad but there is always the chance that I'm going to be captured in which case I'll be raped to death. They already did it to Theodora's mother and sister so you can be certain they will do it to me. I don't want to be a virgin when that happens."

He looked at me for a long time and I felt as if his eyes were burrowing deep inside my soul. "Two fings," he said. "You need to stop with that 'Theodora's mother and sister' stuff right now. I know you's Stab now and I'm good with that but they'll always be you's Mama and you's sister and it ain't doin' you no good to pretend they ain't. You hear me?" It was the first time that he'd ever been even slightly strict with me.

I looked at him then nodded.

"You's Mama is with my Mama looking down on us from heaven with Jesus. An' if your Mama is anythin' like my Mama they'll all three of 'em'll be havin' a rare old laugh together."

I paused for a moment, thinking about this. "I'm sorry," I said at last with a sigh, "but I think I stopped believing in Jesus when they made me eat my little sister."

The pain that shot through his eyes at that told me that he hadn't heard the whole story. "Could be," he replied after a moment, "but that don't mean for one second that he's ever stopped believing in you."

He was silent for a moment and then went on. "On the other fing. Wouldn't you do better wi' James..." he suggested. "Or even Mike?"

I could answer that easily. I had already thought about it. "James is just a kid, like me. I mean, I really like him and things might happen there but not quickly and not properly. I need a real man and, as for Mike..."

I paused for a moment, not quite certain how to put this, well, kindly.

"I know I've got plenty of problems of my own but Mike is only a couple of steps short of a complete breakdown. I really don't think we should be adding this to the mix, do you?"

"And what about protection? I mean, milk chocolate babies are delicious," he smiled at me, "but I don't fink we need one right now."

"Susan saw to it that that was taken care of."

"Then, if you's sure it's what you want, come here!" He held out his arms and pulled me onto his lap.

"Shouldn't we go to a bed, or something?" I asked hesitantly as he wrapped me in his huge arms.

"You got to stop finkin', lil' white girl," he said, planting a kiss on my neck which sent an exquisite tingle down my spine. "No more talkin' - just close your eyes and enjoy my best."

He started to plant a series of kisses on my neck, until he found a spot that sent an almost unbearable surge of warmth down between my legs. "Oh!" I gasped.

He continued to explore my neck with his lips, tongue and even teeth and I tried to wrap my arms around him but he was just too huge. Instead, I let them hang limply from his shoulders. His hands started playing over my back and at some stage, they must have slipped inside my shirt because I was suddenly very much aware of his powerful hands on my naked back.

"What should I..." I tried to ask but his mouth locked onto mine, blocking out any further speech. He leaned me back on his lap, taking possession of my mouth with power and passion. It was all I could do to keep my hands draped over his shoulders.

Then his hand was inside the front of my shirt, rubbing gently over one of my breasts. I would have gasped with pleasure but my mouth was fully occupied by his driving, insistent tongue.

I collapsed back into his arm and lost myself in the sensation as his hand continued to play over my breasts and his mouth tried to devour mine. Suddenly my shirt was open and his mouth descended on one of my nipples. My head lolled back, my breath coming in short, high pitched pants. His free hand began to play over my exposed belly driving a tidal wave of warm wetness between my thighs.

After some unknowable length of time, he, at last, allowed me to come up for air. "So, is this black man's lovin' too much for a lil' white girl?" he asked as his thumb continued to brush gently over my damp, aroused nipple.

Words were beyond me but I managed to shake my head.

"An' you sure you want to go on with this?"

A weak nod.