letters to hoseok | myg + jhs [√]

『 duabelas; all taped up inside 』

yoongi writes hoseok's address and sticks the last stamp on the very last letter. he has the box of other letters next to him now, there are thirty four in total, all neatly packed in order.

yoongi remembers the video tapes that were located in the box namjoon had found earlier.

"hey namjoon?" yoongi yells down the stairs.

there's a loud oof sound followed by jin's iconic windshield laugh before he replies.

"yeah?"

"where's the box you found?"

"uh it's in the living room, on the coffee table."

yoongi nods to himself and heads to the living room, completely avoiding the kitchen after jin had shouted "stay out of the kitchen" in a strict but affectionate way. it reminded him of his mother, and his days as a child. afternoons soaked in sunshine and nights accompanied by the soft tunes of the piano being played by his father. those were the days, the golden days of sunshine.

yoongi had experienced two periods of which he called sunshine season in his life. the first being his childhood, every memory before his 12th birthday felt like magic. but sadly, yoongi had gotten nightmares and they had continued to terrorize him until the childhood fueled of stardust that once belonged to him was his no longer.

he was mostly angry or depressed, he was never satisfied. there would be times where he felt too crowded, his thoughts so loud they resembled real, living, breathing people; taking up space in the physical realm making the boy feel suffocated. and sometimes his thoughts made him feel lonely; echoing voices and empty voids; like he was the only person in the world.

the second sunshine season occured during his university years and the few years that followed after. it was during university he had come to know most of his friends he held dear until this very moment, although yes, one would probably not be present this evening. during that time period he had met his sunshine, and all at once he felt like a child again.

his nightmares seemed to cease or it was he who gained power to overcome it, to see the joy in the dullest of things. hoseok was like a time machine, bringing back the memories of his family. during his sunshine seasons golden days stretched for hours and hours and nights were never dark and lonely, always filled with reassuring company and hope. yoongi had never felt so alive. and his will to live began to return.

but when all was well and magical, the voices returned. they attacked him during his sleep and even when he was awake, making him drive away those who were close to him. he was like a storm. but there was only one who faced him, even when he had grown so cold.

hoseok, his sunshine, had stood his ground. yoongi had not explicitly told him to leave, so he would stay.

until, yoongi did.

he didn't realise it when he had said it, but those words meant more than he thought.

"yoongi let me help you!"

"no!"

"you can't keep pushing people out like this!"

"i can do what i want!"

"there's no point in this, here i can help y-"

"just leave! i don't need you! this is me! if you don't like me as me, you can go!"

"yoongi i didn't mean it like that, i just wanted to hel-"

"leave! we're over!"

"i-" he sighed. "okay. okay, yoongi i'll leave."

it had happened so fast, everything was crumbling to ruin underneath him and when yoongi had realised what he had done, it was too late, hoseok was gone.

now yoongi looks at the box of hoseok's forgotten belongings and picks it up.

"do you want me to tape it up?" yoongi asks across the living room.

"yeah- jin stop omygod! yeah sure yoongi hyung! thank you!" yoongi hears from the kitchen, a crash and laughter.

"yah! don't destroy my kitchen!" yoongi shouts at them, climbing up the stairs again.

"don't worry yoongles!" jin shouts after him.

before him now, there are two identical boxes labeled hoseok. yoongi reaches into the box of belongings, taking out the vhs tapes. he wanted to keep those. maybe in a few years, if hoseok wasn't coming back, he would open this up and remember who foolish and stupid he was. he would be reminded of his mistake. he would forever be reminded on how bad he had fucked up. he placed the tapes in the letter box.

afterwards, he burnt copies of his new song onto two cds.

sunshine season
suga ft. rm

and placed one cd in each box, before producing a large roll of tape and taping up both boxes. one would be delivered to their rightful owner and another would be sealed forever and no one would know it existed except him.

he carried both boxes downstairs when he heard the rowdy couple laugh again, so he could pass by in peace without being questioned. he placed the box of belongings on the coffee table. then he went into the storage closet and placed the letter box.

"thank you." he said as he placed his hand on the cardboard.

then he got up and left.

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guess who's bitchass is back! i hope enjoy this pretty long chapter! i've been working on it for a while now. i'm feeling better now so i'm probably update better. idk why but rn is the busiest of days at school, everyday we have 2 tests! but i've gotten a lot of sudden motivation. i've learnt a few songs on the ukelele this week and i write a couple drabbles waiting for tests to be over.

thank you for reading!! and like for being so patient with my bitchass.

also,, recommend me songs to play on the ukulele!

luv all of you 💞💕💓