I am confused

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Tw for dysphoria

I'm so confused because my dysphoria seems to be twitching really drastically.

One day I'll cry in the shower, not even be able to use the bathroom because of sneaky bottom dysphoria and get changed with my eyes closed. I'll clench for a moment everytime I hear the wrong name or pronouns. I'll feel so happy being noticed as a boy

But the next day I'll feel no desire or need to be a boy?? I'll even feel comfortable being noticed as a girl I don't understand how dysphoria can just vanish??

But so often I cringe when I see my chest, feel so uncomfortable by my hips, purposely adjust my speech so it's lower, refuse to wear to clothes I want to because I'll be misgendered. It goes on but idk

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