roommates

breaking and filling

previously:

he lifted his head and saw the shattered mirror in front of him. he chuckled lowly. that chuckle turned louder and more violent. this laugh wasn't a laugh but a shredded scream. the red fading from his vision. he sighed a breath of relief until looking down and seeing his newly bloody hands. he stared at them and rubbed his face. some blood smearing on it. but he didn't care not one bit. he washed the blood off his hands and then his face .

"kim seokjin, you will be mine and mine only!"

<taehyungs pov>

jin was sleeping on my chest. his soft heartbeat and calm breathing is all that can be heard. that along with my pumping chest. my heart can't stay still, way to excited at that fact that he's in my arms...again. sunhee was long gone from my mind, and more regret filled my system. the fact that I left him for sunhee still bugs me. I left him alone for that. she cheated on me with jay. who was her "bestfriend" jins boyfriend.

she knew, no they both knew what they were doing. I clench my fist and feel my jaw tighten. my breath hitches just by thinking about those two. remembering the look of absolute betrayal on jins face finding out that jay was having secret relationship. I try and shake that feeling off and try to rest but the beauty on top of me stirred and mumbled something. "what is it jinnie?" I asked stroking his back.

"mm.. why *yawn* are you up?" he asks voice being muffled by his face in my chest. I chuckle a bit and ruffle his hair. he grips my shirt slightly. with the little moonlight in the room, I can see the light hue of pink grow on his cheeks. "cute" I say. he blushes more and I realized I said that bit aloud. his ears turned the same color as a tomato, and he pushes his face deeper (if that's even possible) into my body. I pinch his ears with my long fingers and he squeals. I smirk and roll us over so that we're both on our side.

he stares up at me with his wide doe eyes. his gentle gaze staring back to into mine. staring into his orbs gives me so many emotions. I just wanna show him how I feel right now. let him know what feelings I've been holding from him for awhile now. he tilts his head confused as to why im just stargazing into him. unconsciously my hand reaches his cheek. I caress it, and he slowly stares at it. when my hand fully cups his face he stares back to me.

I feel like the world has just stopped and its just the two of us at the moment. like because we connected, the world has no control anymore. it makes me want to tell him how I feel. when my body touches his I feel a electric connection, and something tells me he felt it too. and slowly I feel myself leaning into him. he soon catches on and blinks a few times before also slowly moving closer into me. both our eyes locked on each other. distracted in each others oceans of eyes. getting lost in the sea of it, but its a comfortable type of lost.

sounds weird but its a type of lost where, you're already found. its hard to explain but I know what it is, what this feeling is that makes me feel this way. its love. and before I know when were close enough I couldn't hold this feeling in anymore, with this much space between us I knew he wanted it too.

and that's why with no hesitation ,no regret, and without that feeling of a heavy heart...

I kissed him

<jay pov>

"the caller you're trying to reach, phone is either off or busy at the moment. please leave a message after the bee-" I couldn't handle it. he wouldn't answer me. it was the 17th time I called seokjin but he never replied to me. my messages were ignored and all my calls were immediately declined. I couldn't face the fact that he blocked me ticked me off. I know what I did, and I feel like shit for it.

but can't he answer me please. hear me out at least? is it that hard to ask for? 'of course its hard to ask for, you broke him' a voice in my head said. I was not sober and was damaged in the head by alcohol at this point and ignored it. the bar tender worried for my health and called me an uber. but I didn't care, I needed him back with me. this greedy and painful feeling never leaving as I think about him.

images of him on our previous dates popped up into my head. his laugh. the voice repeated. then another image appeared, the one where we met in art class. the way he giggled when the paint splattered on him. 'his kindness' I heard. "s-stop" I whispered, but the voice and pictured only intensified. the image of him and I going out to a diner and seeing a homeless woman came to view. I wanted to ignore her but jin refuses and bought her a meal with his own money.

tears began to form in my eyes, I didn't like it. I never cried for someone I used as a pawn. why is it happening now?! why was he so different?! I questioned. I grabbed a fistful of my hair and pushed it around. 'because he was everything you weren't jay. he was kind, loving, while you were ignorant and heartless' the voice said, more like yelled at me. fear rushed down on me. knowing that the alcohol wasn't the only cause of this now. I closed my eyes but there he would be, jin in front of me smiling, that beautiful smile which I broke and replaced with that frown.

his crescent shaped eyes when he laughed, gone and what filled them was tears and sorrow. his laugh and angelic voice taken over by the heartbreaking sobs. all of which I've caused him to have. more and more guilt grew into me. along with more and more images of him. the tears which I was trying to hold, were pouring down my face, it was just tears, and nothing could stop it. no matter how many times i'd wipe it more and more would come in to fill its place.'this is what you left him as jay. leaving him to cry and hurt' the voice sounding even more angry then it started off with.

I couldn't take it and just yelled at the top of my longs. "STOP! PLEASE!" I collapsed to the ground, and covered my mouth hoping to silent out my hiccups. and I managed to successfully do so. I was brought back to reality when my phone starts ringing. I jumped and just stared at the counter which I left my phone rest. silence filled me and all that could be heard was my cellphone and occasional hiccups and sniffs.

I jumped out of my sitting position and charged after my phone, thinking that jin finally called me back. even if it was him calling to insult me or even yell at me to leave him alone, I didn't care since it'd be his voice. but my hope dies when I layed my eyes on the caller ID. and my heart dropped,

incoming call from 'babygirl <3'

yes. no.
🦋
a/n there isn't enough taejin in this world T^T

word count: 1287