Empty Chairs and Empty Promises

Chapter Nine

What once was my cold barren life is full of laughter and adventure since I've met Griff. But even with all of my enjoyment of these past days, there is someone I'm missing — Mia. I left my Lab with a family friend until I either finished my adventures or made a new home somewhere. I have decided to bring her to Puerto Rico, so I call Nate to see if he can make the flight and pick up Mia along the way.

"I'd really appreciate it if you could, Nate."

His exasperated sigh clues me in on his enthusiasm. "I don't know why you don't just come home," his deep voice holds judgment and concern in its tone.

"I've already sold my home, but I've made a new one. It's so beautiful here with the sun and the surf. I know you'll love it! I'm going to begin surfing lessons soon."

"Oh God, Mom, you are too old to learn to surf. You'll hurt yourself!"

I chuckle at his statement. "I'm not too old for learning new things. I hope you feel the same way when you're my age. So, can you bring Mia to me?" I hold my breath waiting. I want him to like my new home and come to visit. I want Carrie to like it, too, but I need to convince them one at a time.

"Is Carrie coming down?" His response is predictable.

"Not yet. My place is small so I thought it would be better—"

"She isn't going to like this, Mom." Of course, he would side with Carrie.

"You're right, she won't, but this is the way I want to handle it. So, will you?" The pause went on for what felt like an eternity on his end.

"Ok. Notify Holly that I'll be picking up Mia. Will you make arrangements with the airlines?"

He'd do it! I dance around the room as I assure him, I will send him the flight information later today. We arrange dates that work on his calendar before hanging up. The initial skirmish with my children is over. I need to do my homework to make sure everything goes well during his visit. Baby steps.

After I contact the airline, check on any vaccinations or procedures which need to be done for Mia prior to her relocation to the island, and speak with Holly about my news, I relax on my rooftop deck sipping a glass of red wine in celebration. I wait for the setting sun and the opportunity to capture the beauty of the rainbow of colors as it is swallowed by the ocean. I never grow tired of watching the change between day and night as the moon shows it cool light painting a silver path across the water.

It amazes me how much has changed in my life. Could I have taken my own life during that winter day as I watched the eagles flying overhead along the Mississippi? I'm still uncertain about how far I might have gone. Loneliness is a powerful thing, but it alone wouldn't have been enough. It was my sense of futility, feeling like I didn't matter and my existence wasn't of any consequence — those were the factors that darkened my thoughts.

Mia's presence beside me, reminding me that one living thing needed me, helped pull me from a frigid ending in the depths of the river. Then, of course, Amanda's visit could have made me revisit my earlier inclination, but anger saved me. I was so pissed off at Josh I wouldn't have given him anything more of my self. I'd already given up so much for him. Out of love. Out of devotion. Out of a misplaced sense that giving up my dreams was the ultimate show of my love for him.

What had he given up? Apparently, nothing.

I sip from my glass closing my eyes as the flavors of the wine flow over my tongue. I reach for my camera and as I peer through the lens making adjustments, the surge of old resentments melts away. I'm where I need to be and to be honest with myself, I might not have gotten here without the decisions I'd made before. Somehow, I needed to have Nate and Carrie understand these truths as well.

I want their acceptance, their love and their presence in my life. How can I make that clear to them? My hope is they will come here, see how happy I am, and I agree that I have made the right choice. How they could they not? They would only have to look at the glorious display I have before me and agree.

Right now, I'm wishing I was confident enough to invite Griff over for dinner, and he could be sharing this moment with me. It seems too romantic and I fear I may be mistaking friendship for something else. My confidence isn't strong enough for the possibility of rejection yet.

I may not be the strong confident woman I pretend to be. But in time, I will be.

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"Walk the board, Libby."

"I feel stupid walking a surfboard that is laying on the beach." I stop with my hands on my hips in defiance.

"You need to feel comfortable here so when you are out on the water it will be second nature to do the same thing," Griff replied with a degree of patience I didn't feel.

"The board will be wet, so it won't be the same."

"Yes, but the shape of the board will not change. It needs to feel natural and you will quickly adjust to the wet surface." He stood on the sand close enough to touch. I do so want to run my hands over his tanned arms and feel the strength in them. "Libby? Are you paying attention?" A deep chuckle has me lifting my eyes from his broad shoulders to his face. He is definitely laughing at me.

My face grows hot under his gaze. I hope my newly sun-pinkened skin hides my blush.

"Sorry, lost in thought." Wow, good comeback, Lib. Not. "When can I actually get into the water?"

Surfer dude studies me for a moment or two before responding, "Maybe if the surf is right, you can tomorrow."

I break into a happy dance on my beached board but stop when I notice he's watching with a smile plastered across his face. I feel suddenly self-conscious and step off of the board grabbing my beach bag and towel in an effort to seem unfazed.

"I guess I should head home." Yup, there's a brave soul heading off like zombies are attacking.

Griff moves closer. I feel my internal panic rise and my gut twists in response. "I was hoping we could grab lunch. That is, if you have the time."

Date? No, don't go there, Libs. He thinks of you as a friend. "Okay. Sounds good. Here at the beach?"

"I have a little different place in mind. It's just down the road. They have great seafood and mofongo."

"Mofongo? What's that?"

"It's a Puerto Rican staple, and I know you'll love it. Just wait until you taste it." Griff began to gather his boards and equipment together, so I know lesson time is over. As I pick up my bag, my stomach decides to let out an awful gurgly growl.

Griff laughs as he faces me. "See, I knew you were hungry before your belly did. I can read you like a book."

I don't think that is a good thing, at all. It did make me laugh, though. We stroll towards the area where we parked our vehicles. I wasn't even sure what Griff drove, and as his strides brought him to the side of a faded green Jeep that looked like it had been through World War II with all of its dents and rusty spots, I realize I couldn't picture him driving anything else.

"Hop in. I'll bring you back after we eat. That way I can show you around a bit," he says as he secures the surfboards to the roll bars with adept hands. I could sense he'd performed these actions thousands of times and could probably do it blindfolded by now. I lock my bag in my rental car before climbing up into the passenger seat. Griff had removed both doors and I feel exposed and a bit nervous as I grab my seatbelt.

"What do you do if it rains?" I point above my head to the clouds above.

"I get wet." With those words, he cranks the engine and we pull out onto the coast road heading into Isabela. The warm, humid air feels great as it tugs at my hair. I gather as much of it as I can and secure it with an elastic hair band. Strands escape and dance around my face as I take in the scenery.

It occurs to me that if I'm planning on staying I will need something other than the rental car. As I bask in the warmth of the sun and the island breezes, I think that I'd like a Jeep of my own.