I woke up in a soft and familiar bed. Despite, talking out of terms, I knew my leaving was never an option. I couldn't tell how long I was knocked out and based on the series I've watched, it wasn't good to be unconscious for more than thirty minutes. Everything seemed to hurt, breathing was a strain and I'm pretty sure the wheezing meant something was terribly wrong. My eyes started to water while I took slow breaths to prevent the pain from increasing. I could feel her behind me, I could feel her arm holding me against her, I felt her grip tighten around my torso and I let out a deep, labored sigh at the pain. My ribs; it felt as if my ribs were broken.
I could feel the tears on my face as I thought about what I endured the past two days. If I remembered clearly, the appointment was on Friday and I was sure today was Monday. Today being Monday meant I had another appointment which brought more tears to my eyes because I knew I couldn't call it off regardless of the pain I was in.
It started right after I was brought back to her office, I was tied up and gagged and left in a corner until Pep was ready. Based on conversations with other girls in the house, I knew she didn't do the disciplining herself. She employed other women to punish the girls but as I sat in the corner, watching everyone else around me act as if I wasn't there, I realized she wanted the satisfaction of punishing me herself. I ended up falling asleep from crying too much and was jerked awake by Pep herself as she lifted me up and flung me over her shoulder.
The gag in my mouth prevented my screams but everyone could see the terror in my eyes and the terror in theirs suggested there were some horrors that no one told me about. We were passing Melody as she flung herself to her knees in front of Pep in her last resorted attempt of begging for me, she even started crying and I couldn't help my own tears that continued to fall from my eyes leaving small, unnoticeable water droplets on the tiled floor. I had an idea that Pep was strong but as I watched from behind how she used her foot to push Melody away, more fear started to rise within me. Melody didn't stop crying and pleading until I was thrown into the back of Pep's Benz and we were driving off to her house.
The punishment started as soon as we got inside. There was a part of the house that I was never allowed to venture to, the basement. I was dragged by my hair from the entrance of the house, through the foyer, through the kitchen, and then carried down the basement stairs. Sitting in the middle of the basement that was void of color and windows was a medium-sized cage, large enough to comfortably fit a German Shepherd but not a full-sized human.
"You'll be staying here for tonight since you want to be disobedient." She handled the cage more gently than she did me, shoving me in and slamming the cage door shut. Her sickly smile made me sick to my stomach and I wished I had hated her when I first saw her.
I made a promise to myself that night that I'd never ever date another stud but I was nothing like Pep so should I say that I'll never put myself in this situation again? Both.. I won't hoe again and I won't date another stud but that was just me being optimistic that I'd get out of this for now or at least alive. Then the follow-up thought that this had more to do with Pep's demented personality than how she dressed started consuming my thoughts. With her hot and cold behavior, I was confused but I was intrigued and I had to laugh at myself as I realized I was possibly suffering from Stockholm's Syndrome.
Saturday morning, I woke up to a metal bar being banged against the cage. I tried screaming out forgetting that I was still gagged and bound. Pep let out a menacing laugh that re-lit the fear I felt the night before and I saw just how much of a sick fuck she really was.
"Since this is your first time, I'll go easy on you but not that easy that you won't learn your lesson." She opened the cage and I shrunk further into the corner wishing I could just disappear.
She dragged me out, pulling me onto my knees in front of her. She started whispering but my own thoughts and fears drowned out the sound of her voice. I raised my head to look at her, which then turned out to be a bad decision because as soon as our eyes met her hand came down hitting the side of my head with the metal bar knocking me out.
I guess I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life but wasn't that what life was about? Making bad or sometimes regrettable decisions I mean, not getting hit in the head with a metal pipe. I woke up with a splitting headache and aching limbs. I felt like I was being stretched, my arms felt like they could pull apart from their joints. I tried to rub my eyes out of habit but found that my hands were tied up above my head and my feet barely touched the floor. I groaned from the frustration and pain I felt but that only gave me away by letting Pep know that I was awake.
I watched her walk from the shadowy corner, strapping black leather gloves onto her hands. She didn't look up at me, she continued to fix the gloves until she was directly in front of me before raising her gloved fingers to pull my chin forward.
"I can't allow you to leave me," Her eyes were cold and emotionless. "I can let a disrespectful statement slide because I know it's only talk but I can't allow you to leave." She shook the chains she had me suspended on.
Why did she have to take a liking to me? Why did I have to be me, in this current moment? Couldn't I have been someone else? Someone that lacked my good looks and charms. I stared at her face seeing the way how her features seemed to be perfect for her, the way they made her irresistible, and what had attracted me in the first place. Making another promise to myself, I decided I wouldn't be so caught up on appearances as they somehow can be completely misleading.
I didn't answer, couldn't have even if I wanted to because I was still gagged. I watched as she lifted her fist to punch me in my lower abdomen. The wind left my body as a scream left my lips. Why? Why? Why? I screamed desperately but the words came out in a garbled mess. She slowly ran her eyes from my face all the way to my dangling feet, listening as I cried out from the swelling pain in my stomach.
"I hate the fact that you look like that. It's like you're inviting other persons to look at you, to like you. You're tempting, that's what I don't like." She harshly pinched at my cheeks in the same spots until they bruised.
I cried, it felt like the only thing I could do in the moment. The gag between my lips couldn't prevent the saliva that drained from my mouth and my eyes were basically swollen shut. She was talking, more like whispering to herself but I couldn't hear anything with the loud ringing in my ears. I could see her with the close to nothing field of vision that I had and I saw that she was crying, why was she crying? Was she the one tied up to the ceiling with a swollen face and an aching midriff? I could hear her sobs, I wanted to ask what was wrong, I wanted her to talk to me about what she was feeling.
I woke up back in the cage but this time I had a blanket over me. I drew it under my neck and silently cried longing to be back at home taking care of my little brother. I was still bent uncomfortably folded in the small space, covered in my own spit and urine. I heard the door crack open and I started to pray, wishing that what was to come wouldn't be worst than what had already happened.
Sunday was the same as Saturday with the difference that she packed my system up with liquified cocaine. I never knew how it felt to be high on cocaine but I knew I had an addictive personality. Back home, one puff was all it took to get me addicted to weed, and being allowed to drink from a young age meant high liquor tolerance now that I'm older. She was a drug dealer and even though that didn't mean I had to use it, she was preparing me for what was to come. I was lowkey grateful for the cocaine because it numbed me, I didn't feel the aching in my armpits as she suspended me from the ceiling and I didn't feel all the pain she was causing.
I held the blanket closely to me as I felt all sense of rationality and reasoning leave my body. She was confusing me, yesterday I was gagged and tied up in her basement but today I was being cuddled in a soft, warm bed. I knew she carried me but the gaps in my memory were just as frightening as the situation I was in.
