Bad boys and broken hearts. {WATTYS 2017}

Chapter 23 // Confessions [MATURE]

Picture of Zayn and Eva above/side

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We walk over to the bed, his lips connected to my neck. His hands unhook my bra, I feel bare when my straps fall to my elbows. Laying back on the bed, I feel his hands slide back into my shorts and panties, though this time he slides them off. Before I know it he's sliding into me, and my body goes rigid. The feeling is odd, but I quickly recover as he goes at a slow pace. His lips connect back to my neck, and my hands find their way into his hair. Moaning at the feeling, I shut my eyes.

"I might of lied when I said only one time." I speak through moans, making him chuckle.

He quickens his pace, and my mind becomes mush. My heart races and my body reacts in ways I wish it didn't. There isn't a word for this, I crave it, I need it. I crave Zayn's indulgence. I can't think straight, and it becomes harder and harder to do so, when he continuously quickens his pace.

"I love you." The words fall from my lips, and Zayn stops. It seems like the world stops, due to my words.

He stares at me. The pulled back curtains allowing light to come through, and lighten his eyes. I don't know what to do, he doesn't know what to do, we don't know what to do. Maybe it's shock at my words coursing through his veins, maybe it's something totally different, and I have yet to find out. He pulls out of me, removing the condom and sitting at the edge of the bed.

I quickly pull my panties and shorts back on, pulling my knees to my chest. At my actions, I feel like someone off a movie, maybe a girl that has been raped. Pulling myself from my thoughts, I turn to focus on Zayn. He runs his hands repeatedly through his hair, his boxers hanging low on his waist again. I'm afraid to speak, for I might say the wrong thing or even choke up. I want him to say something first, so I know what's on his mind. But I'm afraid. He continues to run his hands through his disheveled jet black hair. My heart is breaking more and more at the silence surrounding us, the words we're both afraid to say hanging in the air above our heads, and I want to reach out and grab them. But they're to far away, simply out of reach.

"Eva." Zayn's voice breaks through the fragile air, catching my attention. I pick my face up from my knees and stare at him.

"Y-yes?" I stutter, biting on my bottom lip.

"Where do we stand?" He asks and the chewing on my lip becomes more intense, breaking the skin. He sees this, climbing over and pulls my lip from my teeth carefully and kiss the tender spot.

"I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me."

"I need you. I thought I didn't need anyone in this whole world, that I was enough. But this whole time I've been lying to myself, and can't do without you. You are the stars to my midnight sky, and lately they haven't been shining. My nights are dark and lonely. And even with Savannah wrapped into my arms, it's not enough. She isn't you, and she was never anywhere close. You are the oxygen to my lungs, and I need you to survive, without you I'm just taking empty breaths." Tears roll down his perfect face, breaking my already shattered heart.

"What happened to us? We could of been a family." It's not until I start speaking, that I feel the warm tears spill down my face. "I loved you, and you should know better than anyone else, that I was afraid to love."

"I'm sorry. I just wanted something to hold me together while you were gone."

"So it's happened before her?" My voice breaks.

"No, she was the first. Before her, I would go out and drink until my body shut down, alcohol made the pain come to a halt for awhile."

It's hard to sit still and have a heart to heart conversation with an ex you were madly in love with. I don't reply to Zayn, because I don't know what to say. So, I stare into his gorgeous irises and hope comes to a halt while I lay wrapped in his arms. I can see in his eyes he just really wants the same thing, and we both want things to go back the way they use to. Shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath, I lean into Zayn. He picks up his shirt off the floor and hands it over to me. I can't help but plant my face into it and breathe in his intoxicating smell, I've always loved it. I slide it over my head, after removing my shorts and cuddle up next to him. I haven't been able to sleep lately, but now that I'm cuddled into his chest sleep comes naturally.

A/N:

NOW EDITED!

Another update yet again. I don't have much to say so stay awesome.

This chapter makes me wanna cry it was my most heart felt one yet and what Zayn said about makes my heart swell and I wrote it.

Word count: 912

much love Tianna.