whirlwind: diyue ficlets

buddies don't break up

/scrolling through weibo ... "ah so that's your type. i see. pretty."

/completely engrossed in his game ... "who? shit! oh man that was close! "

/scrutinizes from head to toe ... "long legs and abs. she looks fit. probably works out everyday, huh?"

/not looking away from his games ... "of course they're fit! they're nba players, yueyue. why do you sound so weird? aaahhhh i just got killed! stop distracting me!"

"do guys really think crop top looks good on a girl?"

"huh? what? what's a crop top? aaahhh die die die!"

"i didn't know you could dance."

"excuse me? you've seen me dance before. i'm a good dancer!"

"you never danced like that!"

"like what? seriously what have you been smoking, woman? why aren't you making any sense tonight?"

"ARGH YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" ... /goes to room and slams door

/finally looks up from his game .... "seriously whats her problem?"
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/a call comes in

"xize, my man. wassup!"

"bro, did you fight with yue?"

"errr ... no?"

"that errr doesnt sound convincing AT ALL."

"idk man, she's been weird all night."

"she just posted on weibo about not wanting to break up. WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"what? NOTHING! why does everyone always assume i did something! maybe SHE did something that deserves a break up!"

"bro, do you even hear yourself when you speak?"

"what's that supposed to mean??

"forget it. you're an idiot. don't say i didn't tell you, ok. bye." ... /hangs up.

/stares at phone incredulously ...."what's wrong with him?

/2 minutes later ...

"HA! joke's on him. yue and i are buddies. buddies don't break up!" ....
/goes back to playing

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/wakes up and checks her phone

"wah buddy, i don't know what's gotten into you last night but you just left me hanging there. i was so hungry i had to ask my manager to cook me instant noodles! INSTANT NOODLES! FOR DINNER! after a whole day of work! if i get skinnier, it is totally your fault! call me when you get this."

"ah crap. did i really ...? oh god. didi's never gonna let me live this down. oh dammit. shenyue what's wrong with you!"

/calls

"wassup, ms. crankypants!"

"shut up, di."

"no, seriously, are you still cranky? if you are i'd rather just not."

"ugh. yeah about last night. i know i was being weird and i'm s--"

"YES, YOU WERE. you totally owe me an apology. you left me starving when the whole point of meeting was to have supper together. take responsibility, woman!"

"will you just let me finish! why are you so annoying--"

"seriously? im the annoying one? after last night?"