whirlwind: diyue ficlets

warmer now

she is so tired, she almost could not open the door. when it finally opens, she curses under her breath, drags herself in and uses her whole body to slam the door shut. she leans on the door and exhales. her arms feel like they weigh two tons. ugh. why did i decide on these boots this morning? how am i supposed to take them off now?

her stiff achy back protests at the thought of having to bend over so she slowly slides down to the floor and sits staring at her boot-covered feet instead. on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad would it be if she just fell asleep right there? in a sitting position with her back against the door, all bundled up in her cold weather gear?

times like these, she wishes they were still together. then, she would have someone to take her boots off for her and carry her to the couch or the bed or any other furniture in this apartment where she could be in a horizontal position to rest her achy joints and tense muscles. but he isn't here anymore. so stop your pity train and just take these damn things off.
with a sigh she peels her upper body away from the door and starts untying her laces.

she hates winter because this is what the bitter, unfriendly season does to her. her body is so cold-intolerant that her muscles are constantly in a state of tension, engaged in battle against the freezing temperatures. and almost every year, she loses. perhaps she should just move to a tropical country. or at least somewhere with a milder winter. beijing's weather is way too harsh for her now.

she makes a sound of triumph when she finally manages to pull that stubborn boot off her right foot. she collapses back against the door and just sits there trying to calm her breath. who knew taking off winter boots required that much effort. she certainly didn't.

she never would admit this to anyone, but there was a period of time when she didn't hate winter. the ones she spent with him, the below zero temperatures barely registered on her internal thermometer. his arms were constantly around her, fighting the cold and keeping her warm like she had never been before. or has ever been since.
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they got together on a rather warm winter night. his 25th birthday party was a crazy karaoke competition and drinking game mash-up at a mutual friend's house. at the end of the night when they had found themselves the last 2 people standing, they decided to get some air and went for a walk. he had taken her by surprise when -- noticing her raised shoulders and tightly crossed arms-- he simply wrapped his arms around her. she had looked up at him in surprise but he just winked and continued to walk, half dragging her in the process.
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she opens her eyes and shakes off the memories.
that was a lifetime ago. why are you still thinking about it, silly girl?
but still, she smiles. because that night -- with his heart-stealing wink and soul-searing kiss that happened later -- remains one of the most precious moments of her life. nothing will ever change that.

she pushes herself off the floor and half-walks, half-drags herself to the bedroom, peeling all the bulky winter layers off her body along the way. ah that's so much better. i feel like i can finally breathe now.
she looks back at the trail of mess she's left and shakes her head. who cares.
she will tidy up tomorrow. tonight she just wants to pass out into slumber as soon as possible.

she collapses on her bed and lets out a big exhale. finally. she's horizontal on a bed. it's the best feeling in the whole world. she closes her eyes and the last thought she has before sleep overtakes her is: fuck the makeup. one time isn't gonna make a difference. i'll just get a facial tomorrow or whatever.
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she lost him during a winter too. the details were somewhat muddy. all she knew was they got busier and busier. and that winter became the coldest winter she had ever experienced. it had felt even colder than the ones before she ever met him. she fell sick many times and almost every time she did, he wasn't beside her. a movie shoot. fashion week. awards ceremony. year-end concerts. the list was neverending. still, she understood. a job is a job. until one day both of them were so tired they forgot to call. a day turned into two. which turned into five. soon, they havent spoken for two weeks. and by the end of day 17 -- when he finally did call -- she discovered that her heart was almost, if not completely, frozen. she didn't feel anything upon hearing his voice. so she asked to meet. and that was that.
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