Saving Her (Taylor Caniff)

Chapter Twenty One

* Courtney P.O.V *

He was in my nightmare again. I woke up with a jolt to the sound of an IV and shooting pain in my leg. Taylor wasn't there, he always was. I didn't dare call for him but I was all alone in the dark blue room. The smell of bleach making me dizzy.

As the day chased the night I was greeted with check ups painkillers and cheap flowers. Chloe and Carter sat with me for a few hours but soon got bored. Then Nash and Jess followed by Ashleigh and Cameron. No taylor all day. Without him there I felt so alone, even in a room full of people.

It must be me.

The nights were the worst, I couldn't get any sleep so I just had time. And time was my enemy. Thinking about everything, each scene replayed in my head a thousand times.

I let him do it. I let him get away. It's all my fault.

No wonder Taylor stayed away. I was broken, damaged, filthy.

No matter how many times I washed and cleaned I was still filthy from his touch.

Each day was the same. Pills, checkups and visitors, ending with crying myself to sleep. Taylor still wasn't visiting, this made it worse.

I needed to find a release. The nights were so long. It wasn't long until I was able to find something though.

It started off with a plastic knife. I'd slice the insides of my thighs where doctors couldn't see. I'd cut deep raggedy lines but it still wasn't enough. I knew I couldn't just ask someone so I improvised. Earrings, tweezers, even bobby pins, anything I could get my hands on.

Soon enough I was able to walk, they'd replaced my cast and given me crutches. It was only a matter of time before I could be released.

"Broken leg, fractured wrist and a damaged jaw. Impressive" Hazel sighed, bringing me out of my thoughts. I met her a few nights ago knwhile I was walking around. "You'll be out soon then" she sighed.

"Yeah. So why are you here? In hospital I mean? You look fine" she laughed.

"I'm here visiting my boyfriend" she frowned. "He'd usually visit me. Once I got really ill and he stayed all night" she beamed.

"My Taylor did that once" I looked down at my hands.

"Don't like hospitals?" she asked knowingly.

"No, just not been here" I shrugged.

"It'll be fine. I'll see you later yeah?" she smiled warmly before walking out. Nice girl, shame though.

Sometimes when the hospital was quiet I'd just take a stroll. Visit all of the patients. In the weeks I was there I met so many people. I spent a lot of time in the cancer ward. I was once told that we were all equal in the eyes of death. Spending time in there showed me different. There were kids in there, twelve, thirteen, who had done nothing wrong. Yet they had days, weeks, months to live. They just accepted it. Outside there were pedophiles, rapists, murderers all still alive. Yet there I was surrounded by innocent people who had done nothing wrong. They were suffering.

On my last day, Cameron came along and made everything complicated.

"Hey sweetheart" he whispered, taking a seat beside my bed.

"Hi?"

"Look Courtney, I need to say this. I still love you. I always have, always will" I looked at him, I was still drowsy from all the painkillers.

"I have Tay and you have Ash" I said.

"I'd swap her for you any day. And Taylor? Where is he now?" I went to interrupt but he silenced me.

"I am here because I care, what's his excuse?" He looked at me and slowly leaned in and kissed me. I was too weak to push him away but I struggled indifferently. His kiss was nothing like Taylor's. His was too rough, it had no meaning. There was no love.

"Just think about that" he said.

Love you all, stay amazing ♡