F L I N G - M A L U M

Feels Like Home

Feels Like Home - Chantel Kreviazuk

This chapter is little bit shorter than the others, I hope y'all don't mind.
Feedback is appreciated!!

.•••••••••••••••••••••••••••.

Cals POV

When Clifford walked away from the playground yesterday, I couldn't help but feel slightly upset. I couldn't help but feel slightly abandoned. But eventually the feeling passed, I got over it and walked to Luke's home. I just didn't have it in me to go back to my house.

He told me his parents are away tonight, and I could stay the night, and now here we are: In front of the tv trying to figure out what to watch.

"Why don't we just watch Spongebob?" I begin with a playful smile, "We both know it's a great show."

Luke doesn't look amused though, instead he fiddles with his thumbs,
"Actually Cally, can we just talk for a bit? I have something to tell you."

I nod, but my smile falters slightly. I hope I didn't do anything wrong... Did I do something wrong? Oh god he probably hates me.

He takes a deep breath,
"I'm gay. And I'm into Ashton," he grimaces in fear at my response.

I crack a huge smile and pull him into a slightly painful hug,
"I'm proud of you for coming out to me man. I love you no matter what, please remember that."

He pulls away from the hug with a smile on his face and we sit in a comfortable silence.
I think Luke is my home.
I turn to look at him,
"Listen Luke, about you liking Ashton... Is he into you as well?

He fiddles with his lip ring and frowns softly,
"I hope so, but I'm not sure."

"Just be careful," I begin, running my fingers through my hair, "Clifford called me a faggot and some other stuff happened, and I don't want that happening to you. People might not be accepting."

He clenches his fists, furrows his eyebrows, and stands up,
"When did he call you a faggot? I'll fucking kick his ass!"

I flinch at the volume of his voice, but stand up with him and hold my hands out in alarm,
"No! He's not worth it, and if you beat him up he'll probably do something back!"

He shakes his head, and calms down a little bit when I place my hand on his shoulder,
"Please, he's not worth it."
I feel dizzy. I don't like when people raise their voices, I don't even like raising my own voice. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Luke sits back down slowly, but his face is still flushed red in anger,
"Cally, what do you mean by other stuff?"

I freeze at the question. It's dark in here and I've been wearing my hood to avoid Luke seeing the bruises. I pray he drops it. I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly,
"Well, it's no big deal, it was just a small fight."

His eyes scan mine with heaviness and intent, before he swiftly switches the lamp beside him on and pushes the hood off of my head. Out of instinct I raise my hands in defence and shut my eyes for a few seconds.
When I open them Luke is simply sitting there with a worried expression,
"Cally, I'm never going to hurt you, okay? Are these all the bruises you have?"

I shake my head softly, and looking down in shame remove my hoodie and shirt. They look so gross. So ugly.

"Look at me," he begins softly as I look up to his height, "This isn't from a 'small fight' and we both know that. What happened Cally?"

I frown and mumble, causing my words to be slightly jumbled,
"Was outnumbered. I know, pathetic. I gave up, stopped trying to fight back. It hurt too much."

He slips the shirt back over my head and hugs me carefully. He smells like home. He is my home. I hope we're friends for the rest of life.

Luke puts Spongebob on the tv, and we sit in silence watching it with the occasional giggles.

I don't understand homophobic people, it's not like they're gonna get hurt by someone gay, it most likely would be the other way around.
Speaking of, I don't understand Clifford at all. He yells at me, calls me names, and gets pissed off at me, but then he calls me 'Cal' and talks to me like I'm human.

I hate him, I absolutely resent him. I wish he wasn't in my life. But at the same time, wouldn't everyday be pretty boring without him?

With my eyes focused on the tv, and my thoughts on my the red haired boy with the pretty lips, my eyes begin to flutter closed.

.•••••••••••••••••••••••••••.

I sit with my legs dangling over the side of the playground. I guess I'm back here again.
Maybe if I pay attention I can figure out what this dream is about.

The night sky shines brightly, making the playground seem eery, almost like it doesn't belong here.
When I move my body of feels sluggish, like it's lagging behind, not working properly, and when I glance down at my hands they're just not quite right.

I look at the boy with flowers over his face. He seems pale, but it's hard to tell because he doesn't have much skin showing.
He's wearing black skinny jeans and laced boots.
Maybe he's some punk rock guy? I'm not sure.
A black blink-182 hoodie hangs loosely over his frame, and the sleeves hang over his hands making him seem smaller than what he is.

I let my eyes focus on the flowers, trying to will them disappear so I can see his face, but I can't. They still sit over his face, blocking me from finding out who he is. I don't understand why.

Everything feels right when I look at him, but something in my deep gut feels wrong. Like I should be feeling uncomfortable in this situation.

He chuckles,
"Cal, you're staring."

My eyes widen slightly, he said that last time as well. Does that mean what happened last time is going to happen this time?
But what happened last time? I can't remember.

I put my hand on his knee, rub my thumb in soft circles, and ask,
"Who are you? What's your name?"
I sound desperate, and I'm aware of it. But I think he is too.
He places his hand on top of mine, and giggles in amusement,
"You never call me by my name anyway Cal."

What? What does he mean by that? I call everyone by there names, I don't understand. Is this some kind of cryptic shit that I'm meant to understand!?

I look around at all the equipment on the playground, trying desperately to make sense of what this dream is, but my attention snaps back to the boy as he lets out a gasp.

And just like last time everyone is frantic, someone is screaming, and the boy rushes off of the playground.
But this time I hear something more.
I hear the boy say through sobs,
"please be okay. PLEASE be okay. You have to be okay."

And my heart breaks just a little.

.•••••••••••••••••••••••••••.

Yeah sorry this chapter is a shorter than the others.
Any feedback?

Have a great day or night or whatever time it is for you guys xx