Secrets

Chapter 14

The use of the phrase "without a shadow of a doubt" can have a few different meanings; some of these meanings are more questionable than others. Usually, this idiom does not have anything to do with the shadows that form and stalk your well-being when you stand outside on a sunny day or in the middle of a lightning storm, but rather it means that you are so certain of something that not even the human-shaped form projected by sunlight or lightning can eclipse your thoughts with uncertainty or hesitation. For example, knowing a fact about the Earth's rotation from a book that you have read over a hundred times will make you so certain that it is true, that merely thinking about this fact will make your head hurt, quite possibly due to the number of times you read the book. While this phrase could make your head hurt, it will make you appear smart and very self-assured of your place about the Earth's rotation. Another meaning for this phrase can involve the knowledge that living a life where you are fleeing from your problems and the authorities will undoubtedly lead to many nights spent watching the shadowed sky, wishing that one thing had been different to prevent the terrible circumstances that befell many innocent people. Or typing many sad stories on a typewriter that I know will certainly never have a happy ending. And lastly, this phrase can mean that one is so certain of something that it will bring many tears to my eyes just thinking about. This is because I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never see my beloved Beatrice or hear her beautiful laughter again.

As Holly walked through the darkened hallways of Prufrock Preparatory School, I can only imagine the many shadows of doubts running through her worried mind, which made her certain and sad at the same time. As she went to the school telephone to make her call, she very much doubted that her father would even pick up to speak with her much as he'd done before. She suspected that he would not be able to reach her and her friends in time to save them from Count Olaf and his schemes. There was also a rather small shadow of doubt hovering over her about whether she'd be caught navigating the halls of the empty school when she was supposed to be at Vice-Principal Nero's mandatory concerts. It was especially risky for her to do so considering the terrible violinist was meant to be her mentor and observing her mentor's performances was a valid way to gain experience. However, considering she was much more experienced than this "mentor" and from how self-centred he was, he would not care if the "half-orphan" was there or not. None of the teachers paid attention to who missed the concerts anyways, which is why this doubt became smaller and smaller as she crept past the cafeteria. Above everything else, Holly S. had much uncertainty in her mind that she would ever be able to give Duncan Quagmire the note she'd written to ask him a very important question. The uncertainty of when she would be able to ask this question and what he might say, plagued her thoughts, leaving her unable to think about the Earth's rotation and wondering whether a life of running away from one's problems is a valid life option.

However, these doubts immediately vanished, much like a shadow will when a cloud moves in front of the sun or the lightning storm ceases to be, when she heard a very loud sound come from inside the cafeteria. She froze, the small doubt of her not being caught becoming bigger with each passing moment, and then she forced herself into a nearby crevice beside the place where she often ate with her friends. She hid to not be caught by the Vice-Principal or any of Count Olaf's henchpeople, whom the Baudelaires said were also lurking around Prufrock Preparatory School.

In the faint light coming from the kitchen, she saw two shadows behind the doorway, and she heard a weakened voice speak out; it sounded as though he'd been forced into silence for a long time by being locked in a freezer.

"The book, I've got to get to the Baudelaires..."

"Try not to speak, at least until we get some hot chocolate in you."

"Papa...?" Holly said to herself.

The statement about hot chocolate made young Holly's heart drop into her stomach. Different tears filled her eyes because she recognized this new voice and any doubts she might have had before about her father not answering or being able to help her friends left her mind immediately. She was certain that she had just heard her father's voice! The smooth, calm, and reassuring voice as it spoke to this distressed person, was all too familiar to her as the very same voice would calm her down after a terrible nightmare or when he called her his "little musician" after she'd finished performing for him.