Lunar's Eclipse || Wattys 2019

Twenty-two: Experience

On the drive back to Lunar's dorm, I try to think of all the right things to say.

How to let her know how sorry I am...I truly am.
I feel guilty...terrible.

By the time I park my car and head into the building, I'm positive of what to say to her but before I can knock on the door, it swings open and she's standing there with her roommate.

"Nathan."

"Lu." I say and she stares at me blankly.

"What are you doing here?" She asks and I suddenly can't remember a single word of the perfect apology I had.

LUNAR'S P.O.V

"What are you doing here?" I ask Nathan, still in shock.
It took all the willpower I had not to hug him.
Not to throw myself on him and tell him I was just glad to see him and I didn't care about the argument.

My stupid hormones were playing tricks on me and I have to remind myself I'm angry at him.

"Lunar, I'm so sorry." He says sincerely, his eyes fixed on mine and I don't say anything.

Why did he have to feel remorseful so soon?
Why couldn't he let me stay mad at him.

"Please, Lu. I shouldn't have said what I said--"

"But you said it and that's that. At least I know how you feel about--"

"Lunar, please. I know I said stupid things but I didn't mean them, I swear. That's not how I feel about you and the baby, I just said that because I was acting out and I panicked."

"You think I wasn't panicking too?" I say, surprised at how soft and sad I sound.

I was tired of fighting.

"I was scared and I didn't know the first thing to do....I just needed you to be there but--"

"But I was being an asshole. I know. I know I was being selfish and I didn't think of what you went through. I know I said the wrong things and I didn't act like I care. But I care, baby." He says and my lip quivers.

"You said I was a handful and...You yelled at me."

"I know baby, I'm so sorry." He says softly and I shake my head.

"But this doesn't even change anything. You're not ready Nathan and I'm not going to guilt trip you to do what you don't want. No matter how much I need you. You don't even want the baby---"

"I do, I do, of course I do." He takes my hands in his.

"I want the baby and I want you. I said I wasn't ready because I let the panic get the best of me. I know I have no idea how to go about it but I'd rather go through this with you. I want to hold your hand and stick with you every step of the way." He says and I blink back my tears.

"You do?"

"Yes, Lu. I do. That's why I want you to come back. Please. Come and live with me so I can properly take care of you, be with you, for you." He says.

"You...You want me to move in?" I ask and he nods.

"Yes."

"But Nathan, I...I don't even know where to start. We've just dated for two months and this is all happening so fast and I don't know what I'm doing---"

"Hey."

"I don't know how to handle this---"

"Hey, look at me." He says calmly and lifts my chin to look at him.