Deadman Crawling [m×m]

TWENTY-SIX

Alexis knocks softly on the door, rapping her knuckles against the dusty wood with her breath held back. She gets no immediate answer, but she's curious and pushes the door open gently. She peers inside, finding her brother on the bed with Eloy curled up next to him, sleeping. Or what seems like sleeping.

"Jace?" Her voice is a soft rasp as she calls out into the darkness.

He turns to face her, eyes dark as he blinks up at her. He sits up slowly, mindful of the small body next to his. He scrubs a hand over his face and yawns. He wasn't sleeping, he doesn't feel like sleeping, he's just... just tired but he can't close his eyes, can't succumb to exhaustion just yet.

"What's up?" He asks just as quietly, voice hoarse.

"Can we talk?" She asks, standing still for a moment and crossing her arms over her chest loosely.

The last thing Jace wants is to talk with Alexis, but as he looks at Eloy fast asleep and curled up beside him, he nods. He's not getting up though, makes no move to do so and Alexis sighs.

"It's about Eloy," Jace states, the hint of a question fading when he sees her eyes on his sleeping figure.

And he can't help himself, "What now, Allie?"

Alexis huffs, tucking a strand of hair behind her messy hair, "It's just... you and him... having a baby... you don't even know each other."

Jace holds back a nasty retort and settles on, "We know each other enough."

"Do you honestly think it's wise? Smart even?"

"Smart?"

"To have a baby with someone you really no shit about," she says, "I meant what I said before. He's going to be the death of us. He's going to become a burden, hell, he already is."

"Alexis!"

"It's the truth. He was willing to kill your baby," she reminds, voice hard.

"You were willing to help him. And fuck, he was being smart, he was trying to prioritize our survival, his survival, without wanting to. He didn't want to get rid of our baby, so much so that he changed his mind."

"He didn't even take in count your opinion!"

"Alexis, what the fuck, it's his body, his choice. I'm not going to intervene with his wants until absolutely necessary. I trust him, but most importantly, I respect him."

Alexis doesn't know why she pushes it, but she does, "He's weak. He's pathetic and you call it smart? You call it 'prioritizing'. You're blinded, Jace. How the hell can you say you love someone like that? Someone who almost killed your baby? How do you honestly expect to hold a relationship with him when it was based on lust?"

Jace gets defensive, "You honestly can't say shit about my relationship with him. You think I don't know what happened with Ryan?"

Alexis stop talking, her mouth clamping shut as her jaw sets.

"You didn't talk to one another, you didn't even know each other well enough to start a relationship. And if it weren't for me being your common ground, you and he would never have been at the same place, at the same time, which led to the conception of my nephew. Hell, Alex, I love James, but don't pretend that he isn't the reason why Ryan stayed. Why Ryan even proposed, because I know for a fact he wouldn't have done so otherwise. And that is the reason I admired Ryan so fucking much, because unlike you, he was mature and smart. He knew what he wanted. He wanted James and he was willing to try something with you. The fact that he stayed and built a family with you, that you later had Ella. It clearly speaks that love was never in the equation, not at first."

Alexis feels tears burn and sting her eyes, her throat feels tight as a lump forms making it impossible to argue back. A tear rolls down her cheek and she wipes it away hastily, hating feeling so– so exposed.

"I'm thankful to have met Eloy," Jace whispers, voice growing soft again. His hand brushes away soft messy hair, revealing a soft round face, parted lips, and closed eyes with long lashes tickling flushed cheeks.

"It may have been lust, hell it still might be, but I know what I feel. I feel my heart flutter every time I look his way. You call him weak, but all I see is someone incredibly strong that has taken more than enough crap from the world. I see someone I trust completely, someone I trust with my life, someone I trust to carry another life." His touch is tender, reverent. "I love him."

Alexis doesn't say anything else, a sniffle the only noise coming from her lips. She doesn't like Eloy, she's full of shit and hypocrite though. But despite all she's said, Jace still loves him. He genuinely cares for him, beyond sex and more than him just carrying his baby. She can see it in his touch, his soft gaze full of heart eyes. It's almost disgusting.

"For once," Jace wonders, "Can't you just... can't you just stay out of my life? My decisions? I love him and nothing you say will change my mind. I'll go to the ends of the earth for him."

"Even if he becomes a burden? Even if he's slow and gets us killed?"

Jace snorts and rolls his eyes, "for him... for you? I'd die a million times if it means keeping you all safe. He's not the only one I'm doing this for, you know that right? I promised Ryan I'd protect you, even if you did become insufferable."

"Oh, shut up," she sniffs, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt, "You're an idiot."

"I know."

"And he's not... Ryan is not dead," She adds, because she can't stress that enough, can't stress how much she misses and loves her husband.

"I know," He whispers a bit more solemnly.

With a small shake of her head she leaves the room, choosing to go in search of Sean and her children, to forget her sadness and fears.

Jace can't help but breathe in relief when the door finally closes behind her, hoping that now that they've cleared the air Alexis will stop being such a– a brat.

"I love you too," comes a sleepy voice after a few beats of silence.

Jace looks down to find Eloy peering up at him through a sleepy haze.

Jace leans down and kisses his forehead softly, his hand gently rubbing Eloy's belly.

Eloy's soft smile means more to him than he's willing to admit.  Fuck, he's smitten.  But for some reason, he can't bring himself to tell him how much he loves him, not face to face, not yet even though they both know.  But those eyes, those large eyes and happy smile make him weak.  And the words almost fall from his lips.  He's holding back, holding back like an idiot.  Truth is, he doesn't know what he'll do if he ever lost Eloy.