I know you were trying to help. So I hope you understand that that's what I'm trying to do too.
I'm restless and I can't sleep. I don't know if it's because I became acustomed to not sleeping alone or if it's my body just hating the idea that the prior could be a possibility.
How can I begin to say I understand what it's like to not want to be alone when I'm so used to being alone that it doesn't bother me anymore? Not until nightfall at least. Then my thoughts and memories devour me. And in a way, I let them.
Lonliness is a double edged sword consisting of self deprication that's reaffirmed by reality. Is it my fault? Did I fuck up or am I really just not meant to be with anyone? What price do we pay for love when it's meant to have no cost yet cost you everything at the same time?
