Going Back

Chapter Thirteen - Maybe... No.

I lifted my woozy head up, attempting to steady it with my less than co-operative, inebriated body. I placed my hands, palms down on the wooden table as if it would provide some kind of balance.

"I started the water for you." Evan said as he returned to the table. He held out the same clothes he'd leant me last time.

I nodded and pushed myself up and on to my feet. The sooner I was asleep the sooner this day could be forgotten. I walked into the bathroom, the water was already letting off steam. I closed the door and placed the clothes Evan had given me down before peeling my own clothes off. I stepped into the shower and tried to wash away the unwelcome drunk feeling, unfortunately though I failed. I dried and dressed myself once I was done, escaping Evan's bathroom and bedroom as quickly as I could.

I walked back into the now dimly lit living area. Evan was sitting down at the table, an open beer in his hands. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Feeling a little better?" He asked softly.

I shook my head and placed my hands on the back of one of the chairs at Evan's table to steady myself.

"I'm not sure why I thought going out was a good idea." I mumbled. "I just wanted to..."

My voice trailed off and I shrugged. "I should get some sleep. Thank you for picking me up."

I turned and walked slowly down the hall, unwilling to slip on the ground and make an ass of myself, well more than what I already had. Once I was inside the guest room I let out a strangled breath and leaned against the door.

Why had I called Evan, why hadn't I even tried to go back into the club and find Greta. Being here, was like willingly walking on glass shards for fun. Painful and stupid.

I'd spent years yearning to feel normal, to look at a man or woman and feel the connection of lust or love or whatever it was. Now it had happened I didn't know what to do. There was no one to talk to, nowhere to turn.

Evan was caught up with his ex, and I was caught up with him. Maybe I was self sabotaging, having thoughts about the one man I knew wasn't emotionally available. Or maybe fate had picked a really shitty time to hit me with cupids arrow.

"Ace..." Evan's voice called through the door, waking me from my thoughts. I was still up against the door, leaning on it. "Can I come in?"

I stared at the bed, I didn't want to talk. Quietly I flicked off the light and leapt across the room and into the bed. Unfortunately, due largely to my drunken state I leapt to far and landed on the ground. I fell with a loud thump as my leg hit the wall, which caused Evan to burst through the door and turn the light on. He was in front of me before I could even move, his hands on my shoulders, his face only a foot away from mine.

"Ace." he exclaimed, his eyes were dark and full with worry, they darted back and forth searching for something. "Are you alright."

I nodded, my face reddened as I shrugged his hands off of me and attempted to push myself up. Undeterred by my brush off, his hands caught my hips and he guided me to my feet. We stood face to face, his hands on my hips, as mine hung loosely at my sides.

I'm not sure what came over me or why, but I lifted my arms so they sat on his. Slowly moving my hands up until they sat on his shoulders.

"Why are you in here Evan?" I asked softly, tilting my head as I looked up at him. The worry was gone now, replaced by something else.

Fear....

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out for some time. Finally he swallowed and let the words fall out.