CPR

Chapter 12

I opened my eyes and realized I was still in the bathroom. I got up off the floor trying to figure out what just happened. I had a missed call and text from Lavae: Wya?? You okay? I texted her back letting her know I had a panic attack and fainted. I sighed as I rubbed my face. I didn't want to be here. I never thought seeing mani again would have that big of a affect on me but the way she was looking at me brought back memories. Memories that I dearly wanted to forget. I walked out the bathroom bumping into someone. "Sorry." I said not looking up to see who it was. "Evoni?" I heard the person say. I looked up and saw my ex bestfriend. I rolled my eyes and continued walking not looking back. I heard her say something else but I was to far away to even hear. I left the building going to my car. I got inside and called Lavae and she answered on the first ring. "Hey you okay where you at?" She asked through the phone. "I'm in the car. Can you come?" I asked her. She said yes and I hung up the phone. I sat in the car waiting for Lavae. I pulled out my phone going to my text messages. I saw tyun name and closed my eyes as I grew sad. I didn't know how to tell her what's going on with me. I didn't want her thinking that I just ghosted her either. I sent her a text saying can we talk before putting my phone down. I saw Lavae walking up to my car and I unlocked it. She got in closing the door looking at me with a worried look on her face. I sighed and closed my eyes, "Cathy kicked me out and my mom is doing drugs." I told her with my eyes still closed trying to hold my tears. "I went back home because I thought that I could stay there but when I went inside my mo- my mom...she was sniffing something up her nose an...and it was white." I said as my voice cracked at the end. Lavae wrapped her arms around me as I burst into tears. I cried for about 5 minute and then I stopped and got myself together. "You know you can stay with me as long as you need Evoni." She said rubbing my back as I wiped my tears. "Thank you." I said. I told her I was leaving school to have me some me time. I just needed to have a clear head space. She went back into the building and I pulled off. I drove all the way to the city with no reason at all. I was just bored and wanted to get away. I parked my car and saw this handsome young man walking down the side walk. "He would be a perfect model for my clothing line." I thought. I got out my car and jogged up the street trying to catch him. "Hey wait." I yelled as I put my hand up trying to grab his attention. He turned around and looked at me confused, "I'm sorry I wanted to ask you something." I said to him as I walked towards him. He looked at me and smiled as he stopped walking. "I was wondering if you could model for my clothing line. I wanted to get my business more out there but I couldn't find anyone that would fit but you have just the right skin tone to match. I don't know if that sounded right or I said it right but yeah" I told him laughing after hearing what I said. He chuckled and said he would love to model for me. We exchanged numbers and I went back to my car. I left the city going back to Lavae's house assuming she was out of school. I stopped at the gas station on my way there because my car was definitely on E. I pulled to to Lavae's crib. As I was going upstairs I checked my phone to see if I had a message from tyun. No response. I sighed and texted her again sending question marks. I opened the door to Lavae's house, "OH MY GOD!" I yelled turning my head. Her and her girlfriend was having sex on the kitchen table. Lavae's legs were open while her girlfriend head was between them. "Oh fuck I'm sorry." Lavae said laughing as they took off to the room. I shook my head as I glanced at the tables "I'm never eating on that again." I said to myself sitting on the couch. I felt myself becoming sleepy. I changed into my night clothes and got ready for bed.

The next day...
"Will that be all for you?" I asked the customer as I handed them their food. I was at work in the drive thru. They finally allowed me back over here after about a month. They didn't want me to get into another altercation with anyone. It was Tuesday so it wasn't as busy. I went in the corner to check my phone and I still haven't received a texted back from tyun. I knew she was supposed to work today I just hope she would talk to me. I went back to taking orders and then I was sent on break. I wasn't hungry so I just sat in a booth scrolling through my phone. "She's here." I looked up at Lavae who was pointing to the door. I told her about me and tyun and she told me I was kinda in the wrong and I agreed. I got up out the booth looking towards the door and saw her walking into the bathroom with her headphones in. My heart started beating fast and I instantly grew nervous. I walked towards the bathroom and opened the door slowly. I heard movement in one of the stalls and I stood by the sink waiting for her to come out. She flushed the toilet and opened the door. When I saw her my heart sunk to my stomach. She looked at me for a few seconds with a blank face then walked around to wash her hands. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I was lost for words, I knew what I felt I just couldn't say it or put it in words. I felt so bad for ignoring her. She grabbed the paper towel to dry her hands off. She walked towards the door about to leave but I stood in front of her. She looked at me and then folded her arms waiting for me to speak. "I'm sorry." I said looking down at my fingers. "Cool." She said walking pass me. I grabbed her arm pulling her back, "please don't do this. I'm sorry okay I really am. I could explain it's just complicated right now for me." I said to her as I held on to her arms. "If things are so complicated that you can't even communicate with me then maybe we shouldn't be talking at all." She said shrugging her shoulders before walking out the bathroom. I felt my eyes water as I watched the door shut. I put my hands on my face thinking of how stupid I was. This is all my fault. I always fuck up a good thing. My timer went off meaning my break was over. I got myself together before leaving the bathroom to go back to work.

For the rest of the day tyun basically ignored me like I didn't exist. She walked past me and haven't even looked at me once. My feelings were truly hurt but I didn't want to show it. We were closing down the store and I head my headphones in playing music. I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Promises by Jhene Aiko came on and I just burst into tears. I felt like my life was falling apart. Every time things are going so good my joy is taken away from me. I went into the stall without closing the door and grabbed some tissue. I felt hands around my waist and I turned around and saw tyun. She locked the stall and turned back around and wiped my tears with her thumbs. She then pulled me into a hug making me break down as I cried on her shoulder. She held me making me feel comfort as I stopped crying. She pulled me away making me look at her, "you don't have to tell me what's going on if you don't want but don't shut me out like that again Evoni. I just want you to know you got me and I'm here for you." She said with a serious face. I smiled a little as I looked up at her. She moved her hands to my face and started caressing my cheeks. She pulled my face towards hers kissing my lips. My heart felt warm when her lips went against mine. I grabbed the back of her head pulling her towards me to deepen the kiss. She pushed me against the wall wrapping her hands around my neck turning me on. She then slid her hand down to my pants rubbing against it making me breath hard. I felt her unbutton them and then she put her hands through my panties rubbing against my clit. I let out a soft moan as we continued to kiss. She then slid a finger in catching me off guard making me gasp. I opened my eyes and saw her looking at me with her seductive eyes. She was staring at me as she started going faster making me bite my lip and close my eyes. "Look at me." She said gripping my neck harder. I opened my eyes doing as she said. She fingered me making me cum as she looked me in my eyes the whole time taking my soul. She pulled her hand out my pants and looked at me as she put her finger in her mouth. "You taste good." She said before walking out the bathroom. I stood there confused but amused at the same time. I don't know what that was... but I loved it. I button up my pants and got myself together before existing the stall. My phone vibrated and I pulled it out checking it. I had a message from tyun: call me when you get home. I smiled and put my phone in my pocket. I don't know where this was going but I loved every part of it. Her whole vibe was just... different. I never clicked with someone so fast like I did with her. There was no doubt that I had feelings for her, strong feelings at that. I just hope this is different from the last time. The thought of mani came in my head and I instantly got chills. I thought about how I was going to tell tyun about all of this. My dark past and dark memories. I don't know if I was ready...or if I ever will be.