Becoming Starkid

This Time's the Last Time

CHAPTER THIRTYSIX:

                  It’s opening night. It’s a good thing that Commander Up and February don’t have much dialogue between the two of them because I know that it would be awkward as hell. But the show goes by so fast. I always enjoy myself during these shows, and time really does fly when you’re having fun! I feel like I blinked and then our first show was over and we take our bows. I have to go back to Joe’s room to collect my things; I’m dreading this but I know I must. I silently poke my head in the doorway, and the room is vacated. Thank dead god. I rush into the room and try to gather my belongings but a voice startles me.

“What are you doing?” Joe asks.

“I have to get my stuff out of here,” I say.

“No you don’t. You can still stay here Andy, where did you even sleep last night?”

“With Lauren.” I don’t even have to ask Lauren I’m sure she’ll cover for me, no questions asked.

“But it’s just easier if you stay here.”

“We both know that us sleeping here together will be the opposite of easy.”

“Okay fine, take your shit Andy, I don’t even care.”

I dump my bags in Lauren’s room.

“I have to leave this stuff here,” I say.

“Yeah that’s fine, are you okay Hun? I heard about your fight with Walker, do you want to talk about it?” she responds sympathetically.

“Not really. You know you’re are my go to girl with all my problems, but I just don’t want to think about Joe and I right now. It’s the same shit we always fight about.”

“Okay, but if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you. Do you need to stay here?” I hesitate before shaking my head. It’s probably the wrong choice but I know where I want to stay tonight.

“Nah, it’s alright I don’t want to disturb you. But if anyone asks, I am sleeping here, and I was here last night.”

“Okay, but why? Where were you really?”

“Lauren, you have to swear to me that you won’t tell soul about this, but, I spent last night with Darren. And, we hooked up.”

“WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK TELL ME EVERYTHING, AHHRG,” Lauren gasps as I clasp my hand over her mouth shushing her,

“Sorry,” she says more quietly, “But, oh my god! How did this happen?”

“After I stormed out on Joe, I just sort of found myself at Darren’s hotel room, and then before I knew it and we were in bed together making out. I have to go now, but I’ll dish more later.”

“Okay, where are you going?”

“I’m…I just got to go.”

And then I am knocking on Darren’s door again. He opens it and lets me in without question.

“Look what the storm brought in,” he jokes.

“I took all my stuff out of Joe’s room,” I state.

“Did you? So where is it now?”

“In Lauren’s room. I’m technically living with her.”

“So what are you doing here?”

“I didn’t want to disturb her. So can sleep here with you?”

“Of course you can sleep with me.” He puts emphasis on the ‘sleep with me’ part.

“Did you and Walker talk?” he asks.

“Yeah. He wanted me to stay there with him but I didn’t.”

“So, are you guys, or whatever you guys had together, is it over?”

“I’m not sure. But nothing can happen between the two of us again, that was a mistake.”

“I know. But Andy, may I just ask, why are you here?”

“Oh shut up” I say and grab Darren’s face and kiss him. We make out like animals, tearing off each other’s clothes immediately. Darren lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him as he carries me to the bed, laying me down and climbing on top of me, kissing me repeatedly. I thought I might get used to Darren kissing me but something tells me I never will. It’s like his voice; it will never cease to amaze me.

We snuggle in bed together.

“Now that time was really the last time, okay?” I say.

“Whatever you say.”

The shows fly by. I am starting to settle into the routine of going back to Lauren’s room after the performance for a while, then sneaking off to Darren’s hotel room, having wild passionate sex with him, promising it’s going to be the last time, and then waking up early in the morning and going back Lauren’s room. I break my promise every night. Joe and I still haven’t resolved our issues, or really talked at all. It’s almost time for the final show, so all of the Starkid’s who aren’t in Starship are flying in to see it, and then throw us a crazy after party. Before going to the airport to pick them up with have to break off into groups to take separate cars so we will have enough room to bring everyone back. Of course this leads to giant arguments. But Joe grabs my arms, waves his keys and says,

“Andy and I are going in my car, see you guys there.”

“No Joe, We aren’t going alone!” I argue, but he pleads with me until I agree. The drive starts off quiet with only the sound of Joe’s fingers tapping on the steering wheel to fill the silence.

“So,” I finally say, “Is there a reason you forced me to take this car ride with you?”

“Yeah,” Joe says uncertainly and he looks incredibly awkward, “I don’t want you to get mad at me okay, but I have to tell you something. I am truly sorry that we don’t exactly see eye to eye about what our future could be, but I still think we could work out!”

“Joe,”

“No, listen! I’ve thought about this, so you say you are too young to be serious? Well, no offense, but you aren’t going to be young forever, and I am wiling to wait! I’ll wait for you forever if that’s what it takes! And until then, we can be whatever you want to be. You have to admit we have fun together. And I know I make you happy, so why to hell not?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Not for me. I want to be with you. Simple as that.”

“But its not working!”

“Yeah, we had a few fights. But we do fit together most of the time.” I don’t know how to respond.

“You can think about it as long as you want, because I know what I want, and nothing is going to change me mind!”

I think I know one thing that will, I think to myself.