Becoming Starkid

You Promised

CHAPTER FORTYTWO:

            The sun peaks through my slightly opened blinds, washing my cozy bed with light. Something tells me Darren purposely put the loft where the sun could shine in; he knows I love waking up to the warmth of the sunlight. I stretch out my limbs, spreading myself out in the huge bed. But something isn’t right; there should be someone else here. Preston is gone. Why am I not at all surprised? I had hoped that Preston changed, but some people just never grow up. Still, my heart breaks a little bit. Preston is supposed to be the special one, the boy who is my sweetheart. But this isn’t high school anymore, and I’m not the little girl I was back then either. It shouldn’t matter if Preston stays or leaves, who cares? Not me. At least that’s what I tell myself. All I want right now is to be comforted by my best friend, Darren. He’s not in the kitchen, or in his bedroom. I check outside, but he is nowhere to be found. The next best thing will have to do; watching 500 Days of Summer or Maybe 10 Things I Hate About You. I pick the second choice and pop in the disc, brew some jasmine tea and curl up on the couch.

The movie is closing to end when Darren finally shows.

“Hey Dare! Where’ve you been?” He doesn’t respond and walks straight into his room, ignoring me completely. I follow him. He frantically races around his room, gathering random stuff: clothes, toiletries, music, etc. and haphazardly throwing them in a duffle bag. He is muttering to himself and cursing at his feet.

“Darren, are you okay?” I ask, worried, “Do you want to talk about it.”

“I don’t know Andy! I thought we were at that point, the point where we could talk, I thought I had gotten through to you. I thought you had changed. But it’s all bullshit. You are just the same as you ever were.” This rant comes from nowhere. I don’t know what to say, or what Darren is even talking about,

“I’m sorry? What did I do?”

“You tell me about how much that guy hurt you. And then I see you parading around with that asshole. I had to hear you two have sex, in the room I built just for you. It was excruciating.”

“Okay, I don’t know where this is coming from. And you had Mia here too. And even if you didn’t, you shouldn’t get mad. You agreed that you don’t want to be with me.”

“You are seriously messed up, did you know that?”

“Yes I know.”

“No, like you need help. And I felt guilty when Mia even kissed me. So that’s all that happened. I knew if the roles were in reverse I would be sick if you were with a guy right under my nose. But then it happened. Even though we aren’t together, I still can’t see how you don’t care about me at all. Like it or not, we are attached Andy, physically and emotionally.”

“I thought you wouldn’t care!”

“I’m not you Andy! I have feelings, I care about people.”

“What are you saying, you wanna be together. You know that doesn’t work for me.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I want you to be happy though. And I thought I was making you happy, making you better. But then you open yourself up to that jerk who hurt you so much.”

“I can’t control it Darren! That’s why I need you!

“I can’t help you anymore; it’s exhausting. And you are passed the point of help. I’m wasting my time.” He grabs his stuff and starts to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t think this living arrangement is working out anymore.”

“What! You are leaving! You are leaving me? Please don’t Darren; I am admitting I need you! Darren I NEED you!” I shout at him, pulling him bacl. But he is much stronger than me. I start to cry and beg him to stay, but he refuses. He opens the door and starts to leave.

“You promised,” I say quietly, “You promised you would never leave me.”

He looks at me for one last time, and the door slams shut behind him. I realize how completely and totally alone I am.