Becoming Starkid

A Moment Longer

CHAPTER THIRTYFIVE:
                  Darren is wearing only boxers and a t-shirt. His newly cropped, short hair is in disarray.

“Did I wake you?” I say suddenly realizing the obscene hour of the night I had chosen to come knocking down Darren’s door.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he replies, “I couldn’t sleep, I was just messing around on the guitar, trying to clear my head.”

“I know the feeling.”

“So, what the hell happened? You’re a mess,”

“I know; everything just got out of control. One minute, I’m trying to console Joe, and then the next minute he’s screaming at me and I’m screaming back.”

Darren looks sincerely sympathetic, “So, you wanna talk about it? I’ll try to help you”

“I just couldn’t handle it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to handle Joe, he is too intense with his feelings. I don’t need any help, being here with you is enough. Thank you, again. I’m getting pretty tired, so I’m just going to freshen up and then go to bed.” I start to head to the bathroom then I stop and ask, “Do you have anything I could wear? I didn’t remember to bring pajamas.”

Darren grabs a tee from his suitcase and tosses it to me. I slip it on in the bathroom over my lacey black lingerie. It’s comfy and big on me and smells like aftershave and peppermint. Just like Darren. This calms me and makes me feel safe. I’ll probably steal it in the morning. I walk back into the main room and Darren is arranging a makeshift out of pillow and blankets on the floor.

“Oh you don’t have to do that Dare, I can make my own bed,” I insist.

“Do you really think I’m that big of a wanker that I’d make you sleep on the floor? Please, I’m a gentleman, this is my bed,” he claims.

“No, I couldn’t barge in here into your place, and expect you to sleep on the floor.”

“Well I’d feel terrible making you sleep here!”

“Guess there is only conclusion, we both sleep in the bed.”

“That’s a good compromise.” We both crawl into bed, laying an awkward distance away, a distance where we are close enough to touch, but we aren’t.

“Goodnight Dare,” I whisper.

“Sweet dreams, Andy,” He whispers back. I don’t shut my eyes; I suddenly feel wide-awake, tension building in my chest. I slowly inch my way just a smidgen closer to Darren, and our legs touch. He moves slightly closer to me and our bodies lay side-by-side each other. I rest my head on his shoulder as he stretches his arm around me. I wrap my leg around him as he pulls my closer. My fingers ever so slightly graze the area of skin right under the edge his shirt and at the top of his waist. I tilt my head upward and find myself staring eye to eye at him. We stare at each other for a moment longer, and then rush to kiss. And I feel fireworks exploding. Years of anticipation and frustrations have lead up to this very moment, ever since the day I met Darren I knew this was going to happen. And it doesn’t stop. Darren deepens the kiss as I pull him in by his neck and he grabs my waist. He pulls me on top of him and I kiss him more lustfully, gently biting his lip. He sighs with pleasure and his hands travel downward, squeezing my ass. I break the kiss only to sit up and shed my shirt. I lean in and suck on Darren’s neck aggressively as he quickly unclips the clasps on my bra and massages my chest. He throws me back onto the bed and gets on top of me. I nearly rip of his shirt as he continues to kiss and massage me. I thrust my hips in time with his kisses and his hands stroke my sides, moving farther and farther down with each caress. He tosses aside my panties and starts to finger me. I gasp and moan pulling Darren in close, digging my nails into him accidently, my body writhing uncontrollably. I notice the bulge in Darren’s pants as he drops off his boxers. Leaving our two sweaty, naked, hot bodies together under the covers. My only wish right now is to have sex with this man. And Darren grants my wish. I wrap my legs around his torso and he presses his hands into the bed beside me for support. My mind is going fuzzy, but I still roll on top and take control. Our moans synch and grow louder and louder and I see Darren’s toes curl. I never want this to be over, but it does end.

About an hour later, Darren and I are still panting, our bodies intertwined in bed.

“That was a mistake wasn’t it?” Darren says.

“Probably,” I say in resignation. But I see a crooked smile creeping onto Darren’s face.

“Wanna do it again?”  And without hesitation I’m on top of him.

In the morning, Darren wakes me by nuzzling my neck.

“Morning, my sleeping beauty,” he says.

“Morning Dare,” I say reflexively. But then I realize how wrong this all is. Even though Joe and I were fighting, and we weren’t technically together, I feel like I’ve cheated.

“Oh fuck.”

“What’s the matter?” Darren asks.

“This! It’s wrong. Joe would be crushed if he found out, and he is one of your best friends.” I say what I know I should say, but in my head I’m thinking, how could something that is so wrong feel so right.

“C’mon you don’t believe that, do you,” he says kissing my neck, “And hey, it’s only a problem if he finds out”

“Okay so we agree. No finds out about this? Well except for Lauren, she’ll have to know.”

“Yeah of course. And why does she have to know? Part of your weird girl code or what?”

“I’ll need a cover up of where I was tonight.” I stretch my arms feeling well rested, which is strange considering the crazy time we finally asleep.

“How long exactly did I sleep for?”

“A long time,” Darren says checking his blue watch; “It’s already one thirty

“SHIT!” I say hoping out of bed and frantically gathering up my things.

“Whoa, what’s the matter?”

“I slept for too long! We have dress rehearsal at two!”

“You have time, it’s only a few blocks away.”

“Well I can’t show up to rehearsal with sex hair and wearing your shirt can I?” I say dashing out the door, “And Darren, we can’t let this happen ever again, okay?”

“Yep, never again,” he says in a not at all believable way.

After running to the deserted Manor to put myself together, I arrive to rehearsal twenty minutes late. Thankfully I have time to slip into my space suit; my part is just starting and I literally rush straight onto the stage behind the cardboard cutout bug I am operating. From that point on, the play runs smoothly. We take our bows for the finale and the curtain closes on us.

“That’s a wrap guys!” Matt yells, “I think we’re ready for our opening night, tomorrow!” We applaud ourselves for our hard work. And then Joe pulls me aside. I intend to scowl angrily at him but he looks so stupid in his Commander Up regalia that I can’t help but let a little giggle escape. But I return to a stony glare. Joe’s eyes are bloodshot and he has bags under his eyes.

“Andy, I’m sorry babe, come back to me. Can we just forget everything that was said last night,” he pleads grabbing my hand.

“I can’t forget.”

“I know, but please can we work through this? I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t live knowing you’re mad at me.”

“I’ll have to think about it,” I say jerking my hand out of my grip and walking away. I should be mad, I am mad. But the biggest thing I feel right now is guilt.