Desire ☆ Timothée Chalamet

| 34 | the good or the bad

Timothée
come on Daisy, I keep coming over but Andrew won't let me see you
December 20

Timothée
Daisy?
I need to talk to you!
December 21

Timothée
I ended things with lily.
I shouldn't have kissed her back, I'm sorry.
Ugh.
I don't even know why I'm texting you.
You blocked me so it's not like you're going to see this
But I just need to get it off my chest.
December 22

Timothée
You're leaving in 2 days
This is not how I wanted us to leave things off
Daisy please answer me
December 23

Timothée
I'm coming over today to see if you've finally changed your mind
Please don't shut me out again
You mean the absolute world to me
But I just keep fucking everything up all the time
And I'm so sorry
December 24

Timothée
Have a safe flight.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
December 25

***

Daisy was ecstatic she was able to spend Christmas break with her family. Her father was able to leave the hospital on Christmas day and they opened up their presents together as a family, like they would always do every year. The only difference was that, this year they were spending Christmas in Los Angeles where it wasn't as cold as New York, and where snow was nonexistent.

Usually Daisy would complain about how cold the weather was in New York, but walking out and not feeling like a frozen popsicle was an unusual feeling for her and it took a while to get used to it. She even began longing for the cold New York City weather and the numerous snow days they would have.

But her nightmares were back, and having made the decision to shut Timothée out of her life was becoming an inconvenience because now she didn't have anyone to comfort her or stay up with her when the nightmares would keep her up at night.

'Why didn't Timothée come with you?' Asks her mother oblivious to the fact that they were not on speaking terms. Daisy didn't want to tell her the truth because she knew how much her family loved him and didn't want them to turn on him for her. So she put on a fake smile and replied.

'He wanted to spend Christmas with his family.' She says and her mother nods in understanding. It was easier this way, lying to her family was simpler because it meant that they didn't have to know she was heartbroken. They didn't have to know that she fell for a guy and he wanted someone else.

Daisy already suffered that humiliation and rejection with her ex boyfriend, she thought Timothée would be different but she was wrong and he was only going to hurt her more if she pretended to be his friend. But the fucked up part about it all was that, her feelings for him wouldn't go away.

She assumed that after blocking his number and refusing to see him a part of her would associate hatred with the name 'Timothée' but instead all she kept feeling was longing and lust and she missed him and his presence so much that it ached.

The only person she could be open with about it all is Skylar, so after spending a good amount of time with her loved ones opening presents and talking about life, she slipped into her room and laid on her bed pressing on Skylar's name.

Priv. Conversation
Sky🌌 (Skylar)
Daze✨ (Daisy)

daze✨
Why do I still have feelings for him?

sky🌌
because he was good to you.

daze✨
so what?
he was also very very bad to me
why can't I focus on that

sky🌌
because the good outnumbers the bad
he always took you places
you always went on late night drives together
he would call you beautiful
he kissed you and told you he had feelings for you
he surprised you in Los Angeles and stayed with you so you wouldn't be alone
he was sleep deprived the whole time because he had to deal with your nightmares every night
he looked at you like no one ever has before
and he refused to come back to New York without you by his side

daze✨
fuck
that's a lot of things
I even forgot about some of them

sky🌌
:(

daze✨
but he also told me he liked me and then kissed another girl and said we were better off moving on and we should just stay friends

sky🌌
yeah that was a shitty thing to do but..
Now that I think of it Daisy, he probably has a reason.
If he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't have showed up at your house everyday to try and talk to you knowing Andrew wasn't going to let him in

daze✨
why is he so complicated
why can't we just be like you and josh
you and josh are so perfect

sky🌌
no we aren't !
we're a good couple but we aren't perfect
no one is
we have struggles too but they're just different from the ones you have with Timmy

daze✨
yeah but at least you two are together
Timmy just wants to be my friend

sky🌌
I don't think that's what he wants
I think he wants more
But he's just too afraid
fear always stops people from doing what they want.

daze✨
yeah fear sucks

_________________

fear really does suck doesn't it :/