Desire ☆ Timothée Chalamet

| 52 | selfish reasons

As Daisy walks up the steps to her apartment, her vision blurs. She curses her stupid apartment building for always being under construction and because on this very exhausting night that she was having, they were fixing the broken elevator.

All she see's as she walks up the steps is pitch black nothingness and she stops in her tracks clutching the stair bar's tightly as she stopped for a moment to steady herself.

After a good few seconds pass by her vision is back to normal and she is able to see clearly again. She doesn't think to stop however, because she only had one more floor to go. Her legs burn with every step and her ribs ache but eventually she reaches her floor and finds herself to be completely out of breath.

Her phone vibrates in her right pocket and she groans out in agony before taking it out aggressively. She reads the name on the screen and it's non other than Timothée. A part of her wished it was Skyalr because every time Skylar called she would not mind ranting about her day and her current state of mind. However, when it was Timothée she always felt the need to be a fraud and make him think she was okay as to not worry him.

She only had to keep up the whole happy act with Timothée for another two days because soon he was flying back to New York and she would be able to comfortably let him know that she needed him and she was miserable out in San Fransisco by herself. But right now as she gave up walking and took a seat on the stairs, she answers the phone call and holds the phone up to her ear.

'Hey.' She breathes out once she picks up the phone, still trying to regain her breath after her journey up seven flights of stairs.

'Hey. Why are you so out of breath?' Timothée laughs on the other end of the line. Although Daisy does not find the situation funny at all she still lets out a chuckle and mimics Timothée's laugh. 'Did you run back to your apartment or what exactly?' he asks and Daisy lets out yet another painful laugh.

'They're fixing the elevator in my apartment building.' She says simply and Timothée makes a noise of understanding.

'So you took the stairs?' he guesses.

'Mhmmm' she replies

'You poor thing. What floor are you on?'

'Seventh.'

'Shit. No wonder you're so out of breath.'

The phone call was short and sweet, and as usual Timothée did not sense that something was out of the ordinary. Daisy had become a very good liar on the phone, she always knew how to derail a subject and she knew how put on a believable act when they were having a causal conversation.

But when he asked to FaceTime her or do any sort of video call that meant looking at each other face to face, she would tense up because she couldn't lie through her expressions. And she couldn't hide the fact that she had lost an extreme amount of weight during her time out in San Fransisco.

But Daisy knew it was just a matter of time before she saw him and he realized how sick she was getting, and how hard things were for her. However, she didn't know how soon that would be because once she reached her apartment and unlocked the door, a curly haired boy was seated comfortably on her couch with a smile on his face.

The smile however, disappeared once he locked eyes with her. His facial expression changed and he stood up slowly, as if he was too afraid to approach her. 'Daisy?' The realization hit him. They hadn't seen each other in the longest time, her voice hadn't changed but her face did. She was thinner, almost sickly looking.

She had bags under her eyes and her body was two times thinner than the last time he had seen her. It was shocking how much she changed, how much she lost. Not just physically. Her eyes, when he looked deep inside of them he realized they were empty. So fucking empty, and it brought chills all over his body.

'H- how'd you get in here?' Is the first thing she says to him. They are still far away from each other, Timothée is too afraid to step closer and Daisy just wanted to run away.

'That doesn't matter right now.. Daisy, y-you look-'

'Sick? I know.'

'Do you even eat I mean, you were already thin but now you're just.'

'I get it Timothée.. I look different but it's not that big of a deal.'

Timothée can't help but stare at her. He studies every inch of her, she looked so weak and Timothée had never thought of Daisy that way. 'Yes, it is.' he whispers, because it was a bigger deal than she knew. 'When I last saw you, you were sad about Harvey and about having to do long distance but now it's not just that it's- it's your health too. Why didn't you talk to me?'

'And tell you what?' She asks fiercely almost as if she wanted to start an argument between the two of them.

Timothée is mind blown that she even has to ask such an absurd question. 'That you're struggling!' he says his voice filled with terror as he studies her and her appearance one more time.

'Why? So you can fly to San Fransisco?' She says as if it were some sort of a crime for him to care for her.

'Yes! Daisy I'd do that for you in a heartbeat.' he tells her trying to engrave it in her mind that he cares so deeply for her.

'I know.. that's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want to ruin what you had going for you for my own selfish reasons.' This time Timothée isn't afraid to step closer towards her. He can tell that she is way past gone at this point and she is speaking nonsense.

'SELFISH? How would that be selfish?' He's annoyed, annoyed that after everything they had been through she still hasn't realized how much she means to him. And that he wants to be there for her. 'Daisy I love you.. I am in love with you and I would do anything for you can't you understand that that's what I want to do.'

Daisy stands still, the shocked expression on her face can be easily read by Timothée. He had told her he loved her and she hadn't been expecting it. The words came as a shock to her but Timothée didn't regret it. He needed her to know. 'I love you.' He says it again, stepping even closer towards her so he can take her hands in his. 'And I'm not going to let you suffer by yourself.'

Daisy can't form the right words, she doesn't know what to say or what to do or how to feel. Should she cry because he wants to join her in her suffering? Should she smile because he just admitted his love for her and deep down she knew she felt the same way? But she couldn't do either because Timothée had now pulled her in for an embarrass and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

Although she looked different, and she acted different, her scent still stayed the same. And they stood there forever in each other's arms. Timothée taking in the scent of her that he so longed for and Daisy holding onto him for dear life. She had missed him so incredibly much and now that she had relaxed in his arms she could form the right words.

'I love you too.' She whispers, and she can almost feel the smile that crept onto his lips once he heard the words that escaped her.

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Hey guys,
Hope this chapter wasn't as bad as I think. Honestly it just makes me sad how Daisy can't accept his help and his love sometimes. Like she so worried about how she might burden him when she should be worried about how it's affecting her to be without him.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed.