Chapter Nineteen
I know there are millions of miles in between our hearts
But I will come running for you I don't care how far
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:09 PM
Thank you.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:11 PM
What's with the thank you?
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:14 PM
I figured it was about time I said it. Thanks for taking care of him while I was gone... and thanks for helping the other night.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:16 PM
It wasn't a problem, he's my friend.
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:19 PM
I know, but I still feel like you deserve a thanks. I guess I owe you a lot, I mean if it weren't for you he probably wouldn't be here anymore. I've... I've been a big huge dick to you since we broke up and I think it's probably time for me to apologize.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:22 PM
You don't need to apologize for that, I forgave you a long time ago. It's yourself that you won't forgive.
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:29 PM
I know, but it seems whenever I try to do that I find another reason to hate myself a little more.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:31 PM
Well cut it out. He loves you Harry, if you're not going to do it for yourself... do it for him, cause I can sure as hell tell you that boy needs you. He needs you like air, just like you do. I know you're probably rolling your eyes at me and thinking that you don't need anyone... but you do need him. You guys are so fucked up alone that by being together you're almost normal.
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:33 PM
That doesn't even really make any sense.
From Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:35 PM
Maybe it doesn't, all that really matters is that you love him.
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:40 PM
Sometimes I feel like life would be easier if I didn't.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:42 PM
Life isn't easy, now stop being an asshole. Put on your big girl panties and stop bitching to me. If you hurt him Harry, I swear to god I won't hesitate to kill you.
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:44 PM
Why do you care so much?
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:47 PM
Why does it matter?
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:50 PM
I dunno... It just does?
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:55 PM
I care because I love him, but I'm sure you already knew that.
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 1:56 PM
I do... You had your chance to take him from me though... Why didn't you?
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 1:59 PM
Because I wasn't what he wanted. He doesn't love me like he loves you, and that's okay. I've accepted it. He's happy with you, so therefore I'm happy. Just... Promise me you won't fuck up again?
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 2:03 PM
I don't plan on it. I wanna marry him.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 2:06 PM
Can I be the best man?
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 2:10 PM
No.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 2:12 PM
Please?
To Alexander is a dickface Sent: 2:22 PM
I said no.
From: Alexander is a dickface Received: 2:26 PM
You're no fun.
To: Alexander is a dickface Sent: 2:30 PM
Excuse me while I go find a fuck to give
-----------------------------------
I hesitated in front of the bedroom door, the door was shut but not locked... It was growing dark outside and I was just now finding the courage to walk in. My hand was ghosting over the doorknob... I was scared to open it. I was scared to face Niall again.
But I did it anyways.
Sometimes we have to face our fears, even if we don't want to.
I cautiously walked across the room, my eyes locked on the bed that held Niall close and dear. When I did reach the bed he appeared to be asleep, tear stained cheeks gleaming a little in the fading sunlight. I climbed up onto the bed with him, my arms instantly wrapping themselves around him. I pulled him close, breathing in the scent that I knew I wouldn't ever be able to live without.
"I love you so fucking much, and I wish you'd just see that. I wish you could see what I see... and sometimes I wish that you'd tell me just what exactly is going through your head. I love you, but right now I feel like the feeling isn't exactly mutual. I don't think you understand how much I need you in my life... nor do I think you'll ever understand it. I know you're asleep and probably won't even remember what it is I'm saying to you... but Niall it's because of you I realized that it's okay to be human. I used... I used to pretend nothing bothered me, like if the world was going to end tomorrow I could honestly care less. You... You're my game changer, you helped me realize that I don't have to be alone, that I don't have to be some kind of slut or anything along those lines. You... You're the one I want to be with for the rest of my days, and I don't care anymore if people think I'm going to fuck up... cause the only way I can fuck up now is if I let you slip away. I don't care, I love you... I love you. I love you." He didn't say anything back, not like I was expecting him to... I can't really tell you how long I stared at him before I felt my own eyes start to drop.
I went to sleep with only one thought on my mind.
I love you. I love you. I love you
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bleh. So I'm sick and it really sucks.
I'm getting far more irritated than usual, so if I snap at anyone I apologize in advance (or you could do me a favor and not be a dick)
Whoop.
Fanart:
conwecalllove@gmail.com
Dedication:
the_romance_goddess
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