her garden | nct dream

five

Despite the dramatic first day I had, the following days were calm yet weird enough to suit this almost fictional plot. Renjun and I hadn't necessarily overcome our past encounters, but we managed to stand each other at most. The only thing we seemed to have in common was our love for Moomin. Thoughts about Renjun's flower tattoo were set aside; He probably just has a soulmate himself, and besides, it's not possible for three people to have the same flower.

Jaemin seemed to be in a state of utter confusion. Ever since Jeno came back, Jaemin had no reason to be annoyed or furious around my presence, and because of that Jaemin was more quiet and reserved, noticeably eyeing Aera occasionally. I guess he could care less about apologizing to me; Aera seemed to be all in his mind.

Simultaneously, Aera seemed to be noticeably moodier whenever Jaemin came up in a conversation.

"Why couldn't he just apologize to you. Now that things are back to normal he should totally feel guilty," Aera said one day.

But things weren't back to normal. They were close to normal, but they weren't normal.

Jeno had always been really popular before the accident, and his popularity had only grown tenfold with his return. And as much as his angelic face is the same,

He's.

So.

Different.

Usually, he would take any moment he had to slip his hands into mine or catch me off guard with a back hug, but no.

Not anymore.

Whenever he's around me, he looks so stiff and the atmosphere around us has this awkward tension.

And I understand that he just came back from a tough situation- it must be hard for him. It's like chipping a cup and trying to put it back together, even if all the pieces are in the right place, the cracks are still there. But the way he acts is even stranger than I would expect him to, knowing his background.

Sometimes I'll try to make up where our relationship lacks and ask him to go somewhere with me. On rare occasions, does he ever agree though, as he always says he has plans. Today was one of those rare occasions.

We were walking home from getting ice cream, now heading towards our dorm.

"That was some really good ice cream, wasn't it?" I questioned, attempting to make some small talk out of this.

"It sure was," Jeno responded, with an ever so awkward chuckle, nervously tugging the sleeves of his jean jacket. The rest of the walk was absolute silence. When we arrived in front of the girl's dorm, we stopped and bid our farewells.

The second I enter the dorm, I press my face against the living room window and watch Jeno walk off.

"Quite the stalker aren't you?" Aera snickered as she grabbed herself a glass of water from the kitchen.

"Haha very funny," I stated flatly. I took one last glance at Jeno, who was now barely visible from where I was and forcibly dragged myself away from the window, slumping on the couch instead. Although I wasn't looking at Jeno, he was all I could see and think about. Why is he so awkward around me? I thought, biting my lip out of habit.

"Hey, you good?" Aera asked, taking a seat next to me.

Before I could say that I was fine, Aera quickly added, "Oh, and you best not say that you're fine cause we both know that you're not."

Sighing in defeat, I began to explain the state of my relationship with Jeno, how Jeno acted really weird on the first day of school, and how he constantly acts uncomfortable around me. I also brought up Renjun, and how his flower looked similar to mine.

"Maybe he still has trouble remembering some things," Aera suggested, "and Renjun, it was a white flower bud, so he probably just met his soulmate recently."

"I figured the same for Renjun but for Jeno, I don't think that's the case. He seems to know what I'm talking about whenever I bring up our past."

Aera went silent after that, contemplating my situation.

"What if..." I began, barely whispering, "...he's not my soulmate."

"No way-"

"It's the only possibility that makes sense," I say, deep down hoping this isn't nearly close to what's really happening. "That sense of familiarity and bond that I felt whenever I was around Jeno, it felt, lacking, like I'm not his soulmate." At this point, I was trembling in fear that this was the truth. "What if he's not my soulmate anymore and he fell in love with someone else while he was gone and somehow the soulmate system decided to change my flower or maybe -"

Aera quickly pulled me into an embrace, as if I would explode if I weren't contained.

"Jaerin, calm down." She drew herself away from me, so we were face to face. "I'm sure that isn't the case, I've never heard of people changing soulmates. Whatever's going on with Jeno, we'll figure it out together, so don't you worry."

Now standing up, Aera added, "You know what, let's have a movie night to get your mind off things, I'll go check if we have popcorn," racing off into the kitchen.

I continue to sit on the couch, rethinking the situation. Aera was probably right, the thought of people changing soulmates has never been heard of, so the chances of that happening to me are practically impossible.

But, even after knowing this, why do I still feel bothered by it?