Paradoxes of her.

Chapter VII. He's Gone.

What's the use of being "the good one" when everything you wanted wouldn't fall into the right place? I've done everything but it seems like no matter how hard I try, it wouldn't be as easy as what it looks like. How many times do I have to prove myself? How many times do I have to I have to keep on pushing and pushing just to reach their expectation? I want to live but how can I live when the person who keeps me alive just shove the knife right through my chest.  The person who makes everything sounds easy, built some chaos inside my mind. And the person who keeps me going just left me out of nowhere. People might not understand how hard it is to start over again.. to start on your own.        

I have to, I want to, and I need to be strong and just forget everything that don't want to be remembered anymore. I'm not ashamed and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

Being in love is the greatest feeling in the world and I'm not sorry that I felt that...

I'm not sorry that I still feel that.. and I want to know if I should take that back.

My eyes strolled around the perimeter of the Lincon Hall. Everything seemed perfect. Most of the people going to the Ball are millionaires who don't know how to spend their money anymore. Those people who came to the event just to catch the attention of the media and to let their names be printed on the magazines. Mr. Lincon, the richest man who still exists in our town is hosting tonight's event and it's for her daughter of course. Businessman/ Gambler/ Mayor of the scandalous Raspberry town always need to make an impression to his future puppets.

I exhaled to let go of my nervousness. I'm shaking, literally.

"Yumi!" she held my hand and looks straight through my eyes just to tell me there's no need to worry.

"This is it!" she smiled. The wind feels so cold and it matches with my body, I feel like I just run out of blood. I smiled back at her and squeeze her hands gently.

 The excitement and the thrill of being in a masquerade never get old. I gently close my eyes for a bit and slowly put the black mask which is made just for me. Inspire true love in this romantic lace gown from Nicole Bakti. The sleeveless bodice features lace illusion accents around my shoulders and upper back. A strapless solid-collared slip is paired with a lovely lace overlay. An embellished belt sits at my waist and the soft mermaid style skirt flares lightly at my legs makes my persona for tonight.

"This is just the start". I whispered to myself as we take our first step on the blood like carpet at the aisle of the Lincon Hall.

The mingling scents of various perfumes, the voices who wants to be heard over the loud music played by the orchestra and the dazzling fabrics of every expensive clothes covering the curves of each individuals to our naked eyes.

The music became emotional and heavy; people with a fresh scar wouldn't take it and just walks away but not me. I have to embrace it and swallow it. Everybody starts moving and interrogates each and every body that catches their eyes.

In a crush of crowd, somebody catches my attention. His broad shoulders and the notorious look of his eyes shivers down in my spine. I keep my eyes on him as he keeps his eyes on me. Even from afar I can sense how strong the connection between the two of us. It's like our souls are clashing. I reached a corner and I slightly turned, his form alone conceals my attention.

His lips, those lips are carved perfectly. I can only see the lower part of his face and the dreadful look in his eyes as the other half is covered with his black mask.

While the other gentlemen where dressed in colorful fabrics to catch some attention, he, in contrary is wearing his black tuxedo with his black sided mask that were made just to hide on the shadows. I couldn't resist the way that he looks at me specially those lips. I couldn't take off my eyes on him. I feel like his caressing my whole being even from afar.