A Different Type of Ending

Chapter 18 - Feyre

Feyre

I could see them then, figures peering through the trees, barely hidden in the forest on all sides of the valley. Then they multiplied, becoming more and more obvious as we advanced step by step, and after five steps Tamlin noticed their appearance and cried out a warning.
"They're hear!" He shouted, causing the entire army behind us to halt in perfect from, and Hybern to scan our surroundings. I could feel some ancient power awakening inside of him, shaking off centuries of cobwebs. My shadows started streaming out, swirling in wisps around me, just as the army of Prythian started to charge towards us. They had a mere twenty meters until they reached us, and at their front charged their High Lords, but I could only see one of them. Nothing swirled around him, he didn't need that physical show of power for everyone to know what swirled under that skin. I had to tear my eyes from him, the one anchor to this world that might have stopped me from leaving. I looked to my right, where Jurian stood, completely out of depth in this war of fae, clutching desperately to a sword only I knew would never touch anyone but him. He looked at me then, fear written across his features, and I gave him a gentle smile back, and whispered to him,
"Live this life better than your last." And something eased on his features as I looked away and beheld the now shortening distance between the two armies, one considerably larger than the other. But there was a monster far larger than both of them hiding inside me, and his name was Death, and he was finally ready to be released from his cage. So I gladly obliged. 

Shadows erupted around me in a wonderful explosion, created something that resembled a shell around the army that had gladly followed me to its own doom. There was only one person inside this place that would be spared, only one who had proved himself to me in these past days. One out of hundreds of thousands. I looked to Jurian, that startling fear how deeper in his features,
"This isn't your end, but it is theirs' and it is mine." I said, and his eyes gripped mine in a hold I couldn't escape. "Forget me Jurian, forget everything, and live this life better than I would." I turned my attention to the other then, leaving the poor male in a seemingly permanent state of fear now. Fury burned in the eyes of Hybern and Tamlin, who stood side by side to my left. I gave them one last smirk and a shake of my head.
"One should know never to make deals with the Devil." 
"You will die for this." Hybern growled at me, something primal surfacing inside of him. My smile eased and my eyes glazed over at that as I thought of what awaited me.
"Indeed I will, and I do hope you will join me." And with that the shadows erupted and filled the entire shell, streaming from me in waves and waves. No ending and no beginning, that's what this was, constant and unending darkness that stretched far beyond what I could imagine. I fell to my knees and stared down at the floor, smiling, as the darkness filled the very air around me. Nothing made a sound, as if these shadows swallowed it all, leaving nothing behind. Maybe then they would forget me, when there was nothing left to remember. I hoped so dearly, prayed this was my true end. For I would never escape if I was still held in their minds. 

I could feel the end coming as the last of those shadows poured out of me, leaving nothing but the empty, fractured thing I had become. I curled into that empty space, waiting to be swept away. That bond still clung on desperately, as did the male on the other end of it, stuck on the outside of that bubble I had created. It was the only light now, the only desperate and drowning light in that darkness. And then it wasn't. There was a glittering blue there now, but not in my mind, in front of me, standing in that swirling storm. I raised my eyes and saw a figure standing there with seven glowing lights on them, the only things that allowed me to see every feature of that face I swore could only have been my mind playing tricks. That was, until he knelt down in front of me as he had before so many times. 
"No." I cried, loud enough to be heard through the sound-swallowing darkness. "No. No. No. No. No. Not you. It wasn't meant to be you, only me. Get out." My voice was desperate and dry. He gave me a sad smile. 
"Not today Feyre, not for a long time." He said calmly and evenly. "It is my turn today, you have centuries yet to live with your mate and court." I shook my head furiously, and could feel something wet on my face.
"Az." The only word I could muster, but I hoped he could read those emotions in it. He shook his head, that smile still there.
"I can't live with my shadows anymore Feyre."
"And I can?" I cried, my voice growing more and more desperate as I felt that darkness closing slowly in on us.
"You won't have to, not if I take them for you." 
"No one wants me here Az. They want you though, they want you." My voice came out in cracked sobs.
"They all want you here, more than they want me. I have lived my time Feyre, now you have to go and live your's." I couldn't form the words to say to him, not as I felt his final shield lock around me, not as he unclipped one of those siphons from his leathers and placed the cold stone gently into my hands and closed them around it. The blue continued to glow, some of his power still contained within it, power that would never go out, even as he winked out from existence.
"Look after them Feyre. For me." He said, still smiling, but tears now glistened in those hazel eyes. 
"Take me with you. Please." I whispered now, my voice hoarse and tired. He shook his head slowly.
"No Feyre, you need to live. You need chance to live, not just survive, and now you can. No more shadows, no more darkness, just the light."
"But they will never leave. They come from inside me remember? You told me that."
"Do you remember what I told you after that?" I shook my head, but I could already see the edges of him starting to be swallowed by the darkness. "The shadows may stick, but they will never stain." 
"Don't leave." I said, shouting now again to make sure he heard me over the now deafening roar around us. I could see his smile even through the gathering darkness,
"Look after them Feyre. Look after my brothers and Mor. Please, promise me you will." He was nearly gone, all I could see now was his face, desperation written across it, peering through those shadows, alight with the remaining blue glow of siphon I held in my hands.
"I promise." I cried to him as he disappeared, that sad smile still on his features the entire time. And as he disappeared the shadows were swallowed into where he had stood only moments ago. As they rushed past me, faster and faster, I sobbed on my knees for a friend I had only been given the honour of calling that days ago. "I promise." I whispered to the blackened grass underneath me as the shadows disappeared once and for all. Leaving behind a failure gripping the one reminder of a friend she had never deserved.