A Different Type of Ending

Alternate Ending (Chapter 19)

NOTE

Hey All, so before writing the ending that I did for this series, I already had an ending prewritten out. Everything stays the same up until chapter 19 and I thought, considering the overwhelmingly positive support I have had for this story, I would share this alternate ending with you. Whether you want to read it or not is completely up to you, but this is just a small thank you for the amazing support you have all given me. 

Enjoy!

Feyre

There was nothing inside me anymore, no sadness, just a numbness, a darkness that was lit by the blue of glow of the siphon. I gripped it so tightly in my hands that it started to draw blood. The bright red started to drip onto the black grass near my knees. Swirling wisps of ash were swept up around me by a nearly dead wind. I shed no more tears, only those that stained my face were left. 

I heard the cautious approach of footsteps behind me. My powers fluttered in response, nothing in comparison to the roar that had once been there. I was left with an empty cage, missing the beat it was meant to contain. I grasped a handful of ashes from beside me and pulled it in close to my chest. They did not burn, as they should if they had come from a fire, instead they were ice cold. Those footsteps behind me stopped as I tucked that handful of ash into one of the pockets on my belt. I prayed they would not find a way to fly away. 
"Feyre Archeron, you h-"
"Don't say it." I rasped, somehow managing to cut off the words of the High lord of Autumn. "I know my crimes. I know what I have done." I turned my head to look over my shoulder at that cruel, old face. "I know the punishment." I turned my face back to look at that brilliant blue stone, balanced delicately in my quivering hand. I gripped it tighter again, desperately trying to control the shivering movements of my hands, and rose to my feet. I couldn't turn around, couldn't face them all. In truth, I don't think I could face the truth. More footsteps approached, and then stopped as Beron had. All side by side. Waiting for me to face them. The seven High Lords of Prythian. 

When I finally turned, slowly but surely, my eyes snapped to his. Those purple amethysts gleamed, but my glance didn't linger long enough to read what lay beneath them. My eyes fell to the blackened grass at the feet of the High Lords. I was a mere foolish child to them, about to face the consequences for my actions. 
"Feyre Archeron." Beron started again. "You have saved Prythian." I eyes flashed up to meet his. There was no anger there, no resentment. I didn't understand. I had ruined everything, I was a failure, I was the reason people had died today. I was the reason he was dead. 
"N-no. I didn't. I killed him." The tears returned once again, drowning my face. I couldn't face my mate, couldn't  force my eyes to meet his again. I had killed his friend. 
"You have been pardoned, Feyre. For saving the continent." It was the youngest of them that spoke up this time, Tarquin I seemed to remember his name being. I shook my head desperately from side to side, the siphon dropping from my hands as they went limp. I fell soon after it. My knees hit the ground hard and there was a ringing in my ears. Why did the world hate me? Was this punishment for being the worst possible person? 
"Feyre?" My mate knelt beside me, his hand against my back to stop me collapsing completely. And then they were all there. My Court. 
"He's dead." I muttered. "Really dead. And it's all my fault. I killed him. It should have been me. Why couldn't it be me?" That was when they all realised what the siphon was, and what that meant. Cassian fell back to the floor, staring at that glowing blue in the black grass. Mor let a few silent tears slip from here eyes. Rhysand, my mate, just stared at the siphon, as if frozen in space and time. 
"This time it's real?" Rhysand asked, somewhat snapping out of his daze. I nodded slowly, not wanting to believe myself. But I did this. I did this to my mate, to my friends, to myself. I deserved this, they didn't. It should have been me. They wouldn't have mourned then. They would have celebrated. 
"It should have been me." I said, speaking this time as I once had. Confident. Sure. I believed myself, for once, I knew my words had been true. 
"No. It shouldn't." Cassian said, though not quite meeting my eye. "He knew what he was doing. He always does. Or did." His voice nearly broke at the end, and the remains of my heart nearly fractured with it. 
"Let's go home." Mor said, and looked to the High Lords for approval, but they were all gone. They had left us to ourselves long before. 

I didn't have a home to go back to anymore. I wouldn't fit anymore. They wouldn't want me anymore. 

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(NOTE: This would be the next chapter, but I'll just put all together here)

1 year later

Feyre

I stood at the top of the mountain, on the edge of the cliff. I stared the abyss far below me. A cold wind blew through the valley and up into my face, twisting my hair behind me, as if trying to drag me back towards the cabin.
"Feyre?" I turned to my mate and gave him a sad smile.
"Rhys." I said softly. He looked back at the cabin and the lights glowing behind the fogged windows. I could hear Mor and Cassian laughing inside. Their voices were whipped away by the wind before I could fully hear that they were saying. Rhys turned back to me,
"Come back inside Feyre. You'll get cold out here." He was right, the first snow of window had fallen only yesterday, and the mountainside was covered in a thin layer of the soft, white powder.
"I like it. It's nice." I said, and turned back to look out past the cliff, towards the end of the valley far in the distance, where the sun was touching the horizon. His hand fell gently onto my shoulder giving it a light squeeze and pulling me back around to face him. I raised my own hand to place on top of his.
"Please Feyre, let's go back inside, it will be dark soon." He repeated. I shook my head slightly, and felt my eyes start to water.

"I can't do this anymore Rhys. I can't go on pretending that I'm okay." The tears blurred my vision. They started to streak down my face, dripping into and melting the snow at my feet. He squeezed my shoulder tighter,
"Then don't pretend anymore." He said gently, smiling down at me. I shook my head again,
"I can't live like this anymore Rhys." I blurted it out, I couldn't hold it all in anymore. A wave of emotions hit me hard and all at once. I wanted to collapse into his arms almost as much as I wanted to run towards the sunset and the darkness down below.
"I know Feyre darling. I know." I saw his tears gleaming on his cheeks now. I could feel the soft pang of sadness run down the bond in both directions, mingling in the middle. He knew what I was doing out here, what I probably already would have done if he had not come out here. He had known even before I had spoken to him. The only difference now, he knew that I wanted it desperately this time. It wasn't like the other times. He wouldn't change my mind again.
"I love you, Feyre darling. I want you to be happy. I just wish you could be happy with me." I met his gaze again, stared into those amethyst eyes. Slowly, gently, I leant forward and kissed away his tears, as he had done for me Under the Mountain.
"I love you." I whispered against his cheek, "and I will love you beyond this body."
"I love you too. I have loved you from the first time I set eyes on you, and I will love you until I join you in the shadows." He whispered into my ear. Our words seemed to linger, thick in the air, for a few moments until the wind carried them away. His hand finally fell from my shoulder to cup my cheek. New tears had already replaced the ones that I had kissed away, but he didn't seem to care, I certainly didn't. It wouldn't stain the image I carried of him. We smiled at each other one last time, and he started to walk away slowly. His eyes didn't move from mine as he took step by step through the snow. He stopped in the doorway of the cabin, a sad smile in his eyes, and raised a hand in farewell. I could almost hear his words, Farewell Feyre darling. Be happy. He opened and shut the door, leaving me to the wind and the mountains.

My eyes closed, a soft smile still resting on my lips, I leant backwards into the embrace of the darkness, and fell with the sun. 

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Final Author's Note

Thank you everyone. I really don't know how to say it properly, but thank you all. I hope you enjoyed all of this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Yeh, guess that's it.