Weekday Entertainments

Final Frontier

It was the final frontier, I looked out to the opaque circle of glass to see a vastness of black engulf the space around me. Beading the sky were balls of light, small enough to fit in the palm of my hand it seemed, and in the distance a sphere with a tint of red. I reached for my intercom receiver.

"Set course." there was really no course. No direction, and no destination on this journey. And no one was at the other end of line, it was just a bad habit, I liked talking, even if no one would listen or respond. Just the sound of my own voice was calming, I don't hear it often.

I guess you could say I've been lost in space, by choice if you will. It's not unusual to pass by inhabited planets, see their shimmering lights bounce against the windows of my ship. I could almost picture the miniscule hands waving to me, seeing only a shooting star maybe, if they believe in that of course. I always wave back, not knowing who might see, and if possible I want to make a good impression.

Friendly, approachable, see in space, you meet all kind of folk. I've learned that appearing friendly saves you, and at some point it stopped being an act.

The silence keeps me awake, the sound of turbulence puts me to sleep. The ship is always set on autopilot, I never know where I'm headed or where I've been. I like the mystery, since I was young I wanted to explore a vast nothingness. In the midst of a cool darkness, with glowing balls of gas that bounce about my window like a couple of birds singing me awake in the morning. I fell in love with the idea of living a solitary life, not for any personal resentment. I had both much and little to nothing to leave behind, a family, a love, but an empty desire quelming within me that was greater than the yearning I would feel to see my mother's face and feel my younger brothers arms around my waist.

I don't call them, and they don't call me, nothing against them, we're just that kind of family. They know I'm alive and well, and frankly that's all that matters, there's no use worrying over all the mushy stuff, it's excessive at best.

I once thought of humming to pass the time, but I soon realized that I'd forgotten most of my favorite tunes. It was really far more irritating to hear myself mess up than it was to sit in silence and stare at a wall. Eventually I made it to the window, that was far more interesting than the wall. I'd already learned of all it's ridges and grooves, I knew every button by memory and could search it out in the dark, I just happened to be in the dark most of the time anyway. You could say it was a useful skill, and I could possibly brag about having superhuman abilities to see in the dark.

This came in handy when staring out the pitch dark window, with not even an outline of an incoming object, just the monitor in the ship to beep aggressively when we were approaching. Sometimes, I'd act in rebellion. I'd wait till the last second, hearing the blaring sound of the ship and ignore it despite the equally intense red light flashing at me angrily. And when I knew the object was just about to hit, I'd swerve out of the way. Proud of myself every morning for pulling it off once again, and it never bothered me that no one else would witness my silent excitement.

A creature crashed into the window as I was staring at it this...today. A dashing face, and petite hands pounded against the window in what appeared to be a gasp for air. My head tilted admiring the figure outside, ever fascinated by the space creature's abilities to breathe without a helmet outside. I so wished for that, the suit was just a bulky nuisance to carry on my shoulders, it weighed me down and made me feel unnecessarily thicker.

The continuous lack of pounding had ripped my from my self discriminating thoughts. It had gone silent outside and I missed the sound that was beginning to rock me to sleep. So I put on my suit, opened the hatch and looked about the dark for the creature I saw. Remembering the desperation on it's dark flesh, and the iridescent glowing eyes that peered into mine begging and begging. All the while I was falling asleep to it's banging noise.

She awoke, opening her eyes, the only source of light in the cabin and I couldn't seem to look straight into them despite her attempt to light right through mine.

"Human?" her voice was small and raspy, I nodded and smiled, staring at her equally radiant smile. But more tolerable than her strong gaze.

She hadn't looked wounded, but most of her figure was hidden behind a great mass of cold, seaweed colored hair. The locks wrapped around her protectively, probably in an attempt to keep warm. I can't deny that I even tried wrapping it around myself when I brought her in, the mass didn't disappoint in keeping me cosy.

Now as she drags her thick hair away from her body and wraps it in a neat knot at her back I examine her. Maybe with the excuse that she's wounded, I don't know how she interpreted, I didn't speak as I lifted her arms and turned her shoulders and hips. Her body was slender and long, though I'd once felt tall, beside her I felt average at best. The suit might have been the right option to keep on, I look intimidating like this.

"Human, I am not injured. You act like a space monkey." She chuckles, removing my hands with the tips of her thin fingers and drops it like a dirty rag at my side. I'd never been called a space monkey, though I figured she just meant I was cute. So I smiled again.

"Do you speak Human?" I wanted to test if she knew other languages, not just English. Most people in space don't even speak English, but since it's the only language I knew I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of her.

I came to the conclusion that she surpassed normal beauty. I decided that was the reason I couldn't talk to her, and not just because I was a socially inept creature who had lived on my own for far too long.

In contrast to her extroverted personality that blinded me, and her small yet loud voice that knocked me out at night. I think she knew that it made me sleepy, she did it on purpose so she could stroke my hair when my head fell on her soft lap. All the tenderness of any lovely body present in those plush legs. She said she's never felt human hair, but she thought it was pretty and soft.

It was then I realized her standards of soft, were very low, but I never thought to complain about her caress. It was strange but pleasant.

I showed her my skills, and I loved having her watch my excitement at avoiding yet another meteor.

I started missing my family, and hating the silence around me. Her voice was the relief in the dark and her eyes were my only source of peace.

I realized I should have apologized for ignoring her pleading gaze as she nearly died at my window, for falling asleep to her desperate will to live.

She asked me what I was called, never having given me her own name. I didn't know how to answer and I was a little ashamed that my first words to her would be my own name.

I wanted to sound smart for her, but it was impossible because she had a vast knowledge that I could only wish to compare. Her stories were far greater than my own lonely experiences and I didn't want to speak even. I was afraid of how she viewed me, because I wanted it to all be positive.

I both loved and hated the overwhelming feelings that she had stirred in me. I was beginning to forget what it felt like to feel, to be human even, if you could call me that. But at the same time missed the simplicity of not worrying for those things.

"Chaos."

"You are not human." she replied, a blank look on her soft features, I worried if I should've come up with something else instead.

How was I supposed to know that the god of oblivion was well known amidst the cosmos.

As well known as I was on land, from where they chased me out of.