Sex Education (re-post)

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

(xxxx)

Emily stared at the window as light slowly seeped through the blinds. She hadn't slept much the previous night. Every time she fell asleep, she would have nightmares. In some the baby was crying for her and she couldn't help. Some were dreams of Spencer yelling at her for letting their child die. She was so ashamed and so guilt-ridden.

The door to her room opened and she sighed. The nurses had been in and out all night checking her vitals. She was told if all went well through the night, she would be released sometime by the afternoon the following day. To her surprise, it wasn't a nurse or doctor after all.

"Em?"

It was J.J. She really didn't want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to be left alone. She didn't deserve sympathy. She had such a strong self-hate at the moment, the last thing she wanted was friends around telling her how sorry they were.

"I know you don't want to talk and you want to be left alone," J.J. began softly. "I just thought you should know that I know how you feel. A few years ago, when I was on assignment with Matt Cruz, I found out I was pregnant."

Emily listened quietly, but didn't turn to acknowledge her.

"I should have left as soon as I found this news out, but I stayed. I chose to stay in harm's way and during an ambush where our vehicle exploded, I lost the baby. I hated myself. That innocent child I was supposed to protect was dead because of me," she said as tears slid down her cheeks at the memory.

Emily finally turned around. Her eyes shimmering with tears of understanding.

"It took me a long time to forgive myself Emily. I had to go through a great deal of therapy to deal with the fact that it wasn't my fault that I lost my child. I also had to believe that Will didn't hate me either. I had to trust that he loved me enough to forgive me for what happened," J.J. said as she sat on the bed next to Emily.

Emily had no words. All she could do was throw herself into J.J.'s arms and let out all of her pain.

(xxxxx)

Derek yawned as he poured himself another cup of coffee. He was filling it with creamer when Luke entered the kitchen.

"Hey man, go take a rest. I'll take over," he said.

"She finally fall asleep?" Derek asked as he put the creamer away.

"Yea, about 15 minutes ago," Luke replied as he stole Derek's coffee.

"Well, Reid's still awake and against the door. J.J. texted and said Emily is filling out release papers. She's going to bring Emily by here on the way home to see if she can get him to come out," Derek said as he yawned again.

"Alright, well get some rest. I'll come get you when they get here," Luke said patting Derek on the back.

(xxxxx)

About two hours later, the door to Spencer's apartment opened and J.J. walked in. Luke and a, now awake, Penelope rushed to her.

"Where's Emily?" Penelope asked.

"She's outside the door, but she wants us to leave. She doesn't want company and doubts Spencer will either," J.J. said.

Penelope frowned.

"You could use more rest anyway. Come on, I'll give you a ride home," Luke said as he draped his arm over her shoulders.

"Fine, but I'm not happy about this," Penelope pouted.

"Let me go get Morgan," Luke said before rushing to the guest room.

Within five minutes they were heading out the door. They all glanced at Emily hoping to at least give her a comforting smile, but she kept her head towards the ground. Her hair made a shield around her face. J.J. gave Emily a hug and told her to call if she needed her before leaving with the rest of the group.