Lets Cheers to This and Hold on Till May

The First Week

AUTHORS NOTE

hey guys im sorry i havent updated. ive been going through some problems and im currently going through my own bad news. thank you guys for at least reading though. im sorry i havent updated SAVIOR and STOMACH TIED IN KNOTS but i will i promise. i love you guys and i hope you enjoy this really short chapter.

p.s. im sorry its short guys i really am

I guess everyone thought I had a problem or something because now they worry about how I reacted more than the fact that I have three to six months.

Thats a short time. Ive barely graduated high school and now im prepared to say goodbye to a whole life I never got to live. It kinda sucks but I mean there are people who have it worse and thats just life. Cam always tells me "life wont put you through more than you can handle" and I just want to see what she thinks of that now. Life is life and life fucking sucks. You cant change any of it. I believe that when your parents decided to have children and youre born, your life has already had a set expiration date. We just dont find out when it is until it finally comes. Some people believe its a gift to find out when your expiration is. Some people its even worse to know. I dont know what to believe. Im just happy it wasnt a surprise.

Everyone took turns watching me and i didnt like it. I didnt like how they were still here. I didnt want them near knowing that slowly im dying. It hurts when Cam and Iris watch me and they try to act normal but we know it never will be. Tony comes to visit and we had gotten close. I didnt want that to happen though. He really loves Cameron.

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me something.." I took a deep breath.

"Anything hun."

"When I go..."

"You not going anywhere." he interrupted me.

"Promise me that when I leave, youll take care of Cam. She means the world to me. And i want to make sure shes taken care of. That she doesnt have to go through it alone..."

"Youre not going to die hun." he grabbed my hand. "But ill take care of her anyways. Dont worry." he gave me a sad smile and we were quiet the rest of the time.

Vic came to visit me and told me how bad Mike was. Mike wasnt eating or even sleeping. Vic doesnt blame me but he realizes that for once his brother was really in love. He apoligized for keeping us seperated but I told him that it was okay. Vic became a brother to me and took care of me when he wasnt taking care of his brother.

"Where is he?"

"Hmmm?" Vic looked up from his guitar and looked at me.

"Where is Mike?"

Vic gave me a sad look and looked at his guitar. "At home probably drinking himself to death."

My heart broke into a million pieces and I felt as if it was my fault. It was my fault. It is my fault. He would have been better off if he didnt meet me and fall in love.

Vic got up and kissed my head before he got up and left. It was 11 o'clock and again I spent another night alone with nothing to do but think.

Thats how my whole first week went. Visits from everyone, testing every few hours and laying in my hospital bed thinking about the one person I could never stop thinking about.

The thing is, is that I need him. I really do. But i know that seeing him wont help either of us. If I see him, ill see his pain and i he sees me, he'll never be able to forget me.

And everynight I thought about the life I never got to live.