A Bolt from the Blue

Chapter 2

DECEASED

The capital red letters printed across the file etched themselves into his mind as he read James Falsworth's file while sitting in the gloomy and silent room of the apartment.

It had taken nearly a week for his request to be fulfilled due to administrative authorizations that Colonel Fury had sped up by personally interceding and asking to have the files unblocked. Agent Johnson had then brought them to him when he was leaving Bucky's room and making his way out of the building.

He hadn't had a look at them until two hours after he got to the apartment, putting it off and watching them from a distance with an apprehensive look before he had finally resolved to sit down at the table.

Steve put the file down and opened the next one.

COLONEL PHILIPPS, CHESTER – DECEASED

And then the next.

MORITA, JIM – DECEASED

STARK, HOWARD – DECEASED

This file reading took the form of obituaries. An endless list of obituaries. He dreaded each new file harder than the previous one.

He reached for the last file and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

CARTER, MARGARET "PEGGY"

His heart pounded in his chest.

RETIRED

The word printed in black was a relief but the lump in his throat was still there. Everything remained, and was to remain, lost. He couldn't go back into the past and catch up on all those wasted decades. Not years, decades.

His bond with each and every one of them was forever broken. What time hadn't taken away through death, it had worn out to the very core. Peggy wasn't dead but he was dead to her: strictly speaking first, then his memory after a while. Peggy had certainly forgotten about him a long time ago and had moved on.

The last thing she needed was to be haunted by a ghost from her past, not at such a late age.

Steve sat in silence for long minutes, processing the flow of information he had tried to mentally prepare himself for but had failed at nevertheless; gathering the courage to look up her file next.

The absence of document on the right side of the table made him frown. His hands swiftly roamed through all the files as his eyes eagerly searched for her name, but most importantly, her picture. He had to see her face again, just once. That would be enough to revive the memory he had of it and carve it in his mind forever. It seemed like he was losing it by any passing second, that her features were slowly and dangerously turning blurry every new morning when he woke up.

There was no picture, no name, no file, and it was distressing.

He called agent Johnson that evening firmly asking to speak with the Colonel in person. She answered he had a busy schedule but that she would try her best to relay the message to him. The Colonel didn't call back that evening.

Steve barely slept that night. He realized how badly he needed to just know. As dreadful as the outcome was likely to be, being in the dark was far worse

At least, he needed to know she had had a happy life, and a fulfilled career as a journalist.

Colonel Fury called the next morning with a composed but curious tone.

"What can I do for you, Captain?" he asked.

"A file is missing," he answered bluntly standing up from the couch and pacing around. "I also asked to have information on a civilian. A friend."