Chapter 24 - Fear of the unknown

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After I finished my tour with the southside kids, I just knew I couldn't stay, it killed me. People were whispering when I showed the kids around and they knew me but I didn't even know myself, the things I knew they weren't memories like everyone would expect them to be. I had no childhood memories I lost them all. So for this reason I decided to go home.

"That concludes our tour of riverdale High, I hope that helps you in your time here and that it may have answered any questions you have about our school. Please feel free to ask any questions if you see me around, right now it's lunch time I'd suggest you get off to the canteen it gets full really quickly" I said putting my best fake smile and happiness forward, none of them had spoken not a word since Adeline said my name, yet they couldn't know it right? Southside and north never mixed so my name wouldn't have shocked them. I watched them all move in different directions until only four remained and stared at me. Well that's awkward.

I turned and went towards my locker, this was something I simply couldn't do right now. I need away from people and into a world where  I wasn't me unfortunately, there was only once place I could do that. I knew what I had to do to give myself distance and space however it would be something I hated. I grabbed my helmet and bag and made my way out of the building and saw my bike. I got ontop of my bike and took one last look at the school, not knowing when you'd come back to something we the worst feeling in the world since people here knew me and they could probably help yet I felt so judged by them.

I started the gas and made my way out of the parking lot and towards the club, this was going to be a mistake that I could already feel coming with Malachai in prison after the drag race that left Penny and she is less forgiving but who knows. I watched everything pass like the buildings and trees of perfect neighbour hoods that hadn't felt the feelings that were caged up inside me at all, they'd never seen these feelings they could only read about them.

I came up to the club and looked at it, I didn't know how this would go. Penny wasn't a forgiving women but I know the club needs workers and I know it's losing business so they needed me and she knew it and right now I need them to help me forget. I took my helmet off and walked inside, I saw all the girls with Penny as she was shouting orders at them.

"Penny!, give me as many hours as you can. Pay me as little as you want" I said to her, she knew I'd come and she knew she needed me, they never paid me a lot anyway that's why I had an eviction notice on the door of my apartment, I need something to keep my busy during the day so I could forget about my life until I was ready to face it all, something that could maybe help me figure out who I was.

"Oh here she is?, you come in here and demand at me? When you sent Malachai to prison and started a fight today? Don't think I wouldn't find out. You owe us. Your working everyday all day for the next three months" she yelled at me, I knew what she meant. I was working this club in it 24/7 cleaning or getting ready for the night, I wasn't stupid but this would give me time to piece together who I was.

I hoped.

I looked at Adeline, she looked at the ground. I knew she felt bad but at the minute I wanted distance from everyone including her. I nodded to penny and put my bag down

"Okay" I said as I grabbed the broom to start cleaning, she sent the girls to clean up and get ready and I knew this was my life from now on but it gave me time to sort my head out. I swept the floors three times over, cleaned down the tablets and the chairs before going to get ready to be behind the bar or so I thought.

"What are you doing?"penny asked when I put my bar work outfit on, I looked at her and raised and eyebrow and she started to laugh.
"Oh no honey, your working the pole everyday for the next three months, you'll have some bar shifts but not a lot. Better get a routine ready." She laughed as she walked out of the club leaving me shocked, everyone knew how I felt about the pole and what it did to me.

I put on my brave face and sighed, okay penny I'll do it I thought to myself,  I quickly undressed and put on my boots,stockings and underwear. I always felt stupid so I grabbed my leather jacket to add some more coverage although it felt more embarrassing, out there I was McKenzie, it may have been a name I hid behind for everything but now it was something to keep them from finding me.

I waited for opening, I watched the girls run around and watched Adeline's eyes fill with anger when she saw me get ready to go on stage, she knew what it did to me and she knew that penny did it on purpose to get me to feel even lower than I do, this was stupid but it was my choice and my distraction and my distance from a real world that simply didn't want me and constantly regretted me from it's love.

First with my parents and then with my actions maybe Reggie was right, maybe they didn't want me and that was as simple as it was.

Little did I know that on the Northside, Betty cooper and Veronica were planning a surprise for the only serpent that didn't know.

They didn't know the Hidden secret.

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