Marry me (book 3)

Chapter 10 - that's not what i meant

Shawn is taking his time, making me to loose my patience. "Well?" I ask him, "Fine, I'll feel you. I never said that to anyone before. It feels weird" he says to himself.

"What feels weird?"

"To talk about it, it has a special meaning. I actually have a few meanings." He says a bit flushing. "Can you please tell me"

"Fine, whatever." — "don't, Fine whatever me. If you don't want to tell me, don't. I don't have to know, I already know why Lucas calls me that, and why Brittney calls me that." He says.

"Wait, I don't think Brittney knows the real reason.." he says. "I don't care anymore, it was all a joke anyway."

"B- come on, it's not like every time I call you by your name I think about why I call you that, you saw Lucas he had no idea"

"Ok ugly"
"What?"
Shawn looks confused, and hurt. I don't care.
"Would you like me calling you ugly?"
"B that's not what I meant"
"What? Sorry ugly, I didn't hear you can you say that again?"
"B shut up. it's not like that."
"Why? I don't think about how ugly you are when I call you that, it's just a name. Wow Shawn you are so sensitive." I mock him. Shawn doesn't look as pleased as I do,
"B- fuck I meant, Michelle. It's not like that and you know it"
"Shawn just get out of my room"
"No, i want to talk about this"
"Shawn get the fuck out, I think we need a break"

Holy fucking shit! Did I just say that? Why did I say that? I don't want a break. Shawn looks hurt. And I feel really bad for the words coming out of my mouth.

"I'm sorry" I immediately reply. "I didn't mean that" I add.

"I called you B all these years because I liked you, and I thought you were beautiful, and I didn't want to laugh at you, so I called you B for beautiful and not for: would you like to be.. be.. be.." he says staring me in the eyes.

"I didn't want to say that to you, but now it's out, I think I'm going home" He says.

He sits on the bed and he takes a second to breath. And he stands up,

"Wait" I hold his hand. "What?"

"I didn't know the real reason, I'm sorry" I apologize, now I feel really bad. I don't want him to go, I don't want a break from him. I love him.

"It doesn't matter that you didn't know, it's the fact you thought I would treat you that way and than you pulled it against me. Jesus B."

He called me B, which means: beautiful! I flush at my thoughts, now every time he'll call my name I'll flush and be happy.

"How shitty do you think I am?" He continues.

Shitty? "I don't think you are shitty, not even one bit. I don't know maybe I over reacted a bit, you are right" I admit, I am stupid.

"I love you ugly, you know that right?" I smirk at him and I stand up, even tho it's really painful and I go over to him, which is not the far, and I kiss him. "It's not funny, maybe we should take a break" He mocks me with an evil sophisticated smile.

"Shut up" I say and I kiss him passionately. "Wait-" I stop the kiss, "is that the real reason you call me B? You think I'm beautiful?" I blush. "Yes, but it's not the only reason, I have another few, but these I won't tell you until I feel like you are in the right position to hear them" he says.

"How is this?" I move weirdly into a very weird position, I open my leg and I bend over a bit, raising my left hand to the air. "That's not what I meant" he says.

"Well than what position would you like me to be in?" I ask, mocking him.

Now when I think about it, it was mean, I can't have sex with him for a week now, and my question was just out of place, I get that now.

He looks at me weirdly, like he is going to burst into laughter, he helps me to stand up straight

He looks me on the eyes, and than he moves my hair a bit with his hands, he gets closer to my neck, "when we're married" he whispers in my ear.

HOLY FUCK!!!!

I swallow my saliva taking a deep breath, FUCK! did he just really say that?

"What?" I ask innocently. Shawn slowly moves his hands from my hair and his face from my neck and now we are just looking at each other. "Isn't it obvious I want to marry you?" He asks.

"No.." Jesus Christ!

"Well I do, in the future, we were talking about kids and stuff like that, but not about marriage?" He scoffs.

"I don't know I never thought I would ever get married" I say, blushing. "Well, too bad for you. Because I love you, and one day we are getting married, maybe not now, but one day. I promise you"

Oh My God!