The Perfect Submissive

Chapter 42

Jasmine

All hell is about to break loose. I can just sense it in the way Alexander and Alonzo looked at each other. Each man willing to give their all for what?! For me to love them?! For my approval? To know that I'm by their side every second of the day?!

Their family and even though I've never intended having feelings for an ex lovers family member I don't predict what happens in the future. I liked Alonzo a lot. He's funny and charming and all the things I need in my life right now. Yes, he's a criminal and no, I didn't want to have my son involved which is why he stays with his father most of the time.

I can't make someone change who they are just because I feel some way towards them. Alonzo says he has it under control and I believe that he does. But, there's Alexander. He's known for being the person he is. He's powerful and he gets whatever he wants and although I don't want that life anymore I know how determined he is. I don't want to cost the two to kill each other over something so... stupid. Ridiculously stupid.

And that's why I made the decision to leave. I won't go back I'm moving forward into a safer direction. Not Eric, not Alex, and not Alonzo. I want so badly to have a normal relationship with him but I haven't known normal ever since Alex came Into my life.

"Jasmine, I know you're mad at me for my actions and I'm sorry but he deserved it" Alonzo came into the room. I didn't care about him hitting him I just cared because I know how this ends and before that happens I needed to leave.

"It's alright Alonzo, really I wasn't suppose to like you the way I did anyway"

"What's that suppose to mean?" He asked confused by my answer.

"You're the cousin of the man I was just with. We had a child and after all of that I ended up with you that's sound ridiculous don't you think?!"

"What are you saying exactly?" He asked. I wasn't afraid of how he would react I was afraid of how much I liked him. I was afraid that if he asked me to stay that I know without a doubt I would. I've grown to know and understand him better. He might act all macho and evil but he's not. He's the sweetest and I know he's genuine when it comes to me but I shouldn't be selfish and make him go through this because of me.

"I'm saying... I don't think it's best for us right now. I mean the timing is just-"

"The timing is just right for us. Jasmine do you know how lonely I was before you? I didn't want any women and most women who I thought was worth my time gave up on me in a matter of seconds but you.. you stayed and you made me feel happy. I haven't felt that in.... I've never felt that. My family didn't want me and even now they think I'm just a criminal that needs saving but you accept me. Don't do this"

"But Alexander's-"

"Going to do nothing. I promise nothing bad will happen to you or Elijah"

"But what about you?"

"I don't care about me when it comes to you. I now have someone to take care and protect and I'm not about to lose what I feel for you because of my cousin and his obsession he has for you. I know I can't make you stay but I can damn right make you feel as if you are safe with me.

"I care about you Alonzo. I care deeply" I grabbed his face so he's finally looking at me. Being with him has caused the new me to break out and finally be free. I don't want to be control yes, I did like it and I still do but Alexander took it to the point where I'll never want to return to. I like how I am and Alonzo likes how I am that's all I could ask for.

Something normal but then again not normal. It's my normal and I want that to be with him.

"Which is why I'll leave" I dropped my hands from his face. As much as I wanted what me and him had I know I have to be realistic about this. Alexander is obsessed with me and I can probably fight him off but for how long? I've only became the person I am and now he wants to rip it all away as if I didn't fight myself to have control over my own life!

"Okay... okay. I won't force you to stay but- I really want you to stay so I can protect you from him. Remember I said I would be your soldier? Know I still will even if you're gone I won't let him near you"  

We stared at each other for a while remembering each other's face. I'll miss Alonzo more then I think I'll miss anyone else. This has to be done for my sanity and his life.....

"I'm happy that I found you Alonzo" wrapping his arms around me he carried me carefully to the bed. We both lay there on our sides staring at each other again. The connection I have with him isn't like anything else I've ever felt before. I love being around him and to bother him and to make him feel different emotions about me all at once. He's cute when he's angry. At me that is.

Just as I'm about to speak he kisses me softly as if I were to break if he pressed against me any harder. I don't hesitate to respond but I can tell somethings the matter with him. His eyes hold saddens but he understand why I have to do this.

"I should probably get going Alonzo"

His eyes close but his arms tightens around my body. He's afraid to let me go but he won't say it.

"Can I just cuddle you for a while? Please" He begs desperately. I hate having to do this to him but what more can I do? I care for him to much to let him kill Alexander or have Alexander kill him either way I won't stand for it. I will not be the cause as to why either man is dead. His family hates me anyway I don't need more people such as Alexander's daughter being without a dad or drug dealers being without their boss. I want no part in that outcome.

"prima di te ero rotto e malvagio. mi hai cambiato Jasmine solo per essere te stesso, non mi prenderò mai il tempo che abbiamo passato insieme per scontato. so che non avrei mai trovato un altro come te con tutti i tuoi personali, ma spero che un giorno tornerai e mostrami quanto sei cresciuto. mi sono innamorato profondamente di te e spero tu provi lo stesso per me ma so che vuoi andare e non posso fermarti. prendi il mio amore e prometti di restituirlo un giorno"

"Io prometto"
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