A Marauder's Guide to Falling Apart

Chapter Sixteen

When she awoke on Christmas morning she was relieved to find the note from Uncle Tom in the kitchen, excusing himself for work. Though she did not entirely love being alone, she disliked the idea of being surrounded by people even more. She probably would have even forgone Lily and James' Christmas dinner had it not been for Emmeline's arrival mid-afternoon.

"I knocked on the door numerous times," her voice broke whatever stupor Marlene had been immersed in. She was curled up in an armchair in the living room, staring lifelessly into the barren fireplace and only pulled her gaze at the unexpected interruption. "You really should lock your doors, you know."

Marlene merely shrugged and then moved her eyes back to the fireplace. "What does it matter anymore?"

"What's gotten into you?" Emmeline's amusement had left her voice and was replaced by a seriousness that Marlene hadn't heard often from her friend. "You worried me sick when you disappeared for the last couple of days without leaving so much as a note. Did something happen?"

Did something happen. The words danced around in Marlene's head, sidestepping and swaying like a perfectly choreographed routine that didn't seem to have an ending. She struggled to find the right words as she constructed an appropriate response; what she could possibly say to give Emmeline a worthy explanation? She could sense Emmeline cross the room from her peripheral and plop into the empty seat across from her.

"You know I'm not a naturally prying person," Emmeline started to say before offering a hesitant laugh. "Well, no. That's a bit inaccurate. I'm dying with curiosity about all the secrets you've been obviously hiding from me all these months. But I think I've been pretty respectful of your privacy this far. At least tell me that you're okay so I can stop worrying sick about you."

The hearth wasn't particularly captivating. There was a large crack in the masonry that traveled up the length of it, widening slightly before separating like a fork in the river. Her eyes had been tracing it over and over, examining all the imperfections. Marlene reluctantly removed her gaze to Emmeline. Her friend was staring at her with worried eyes and an ever increasing furrow in her brows. She leaned in and reached across the gap between them to grab hold of Marlene's limp hand that was resting in her lap. It was a thoughtful gesture but Emmeline's touch only felt cold and intrusive.

"Sirius is missing and I don't know where he is," her voice was cold and emotionless. She had no more tears to accompany the words. She had cried herself dry. "For all I know he's dead."

"Oh Marly," she said quietly before giving her hand a hard squeeze meant to comfort her. Marlene instinctively pulled her hand away. Emmeline wasn't the type to be rejected though, she stood from her chair and crossed the narrow gap between them. She threw herself into the already crammed chair that Marlene was occupying so that she could throw her arms around her. "Sirius isn't dead."

"How do you know?" Marlene stiffened only slightly but relaxed as Emmeline held her closely, refusing to let go.

"Well I don't," Emmeline said quickly. "But you'd know it if he was, I'm certain. Are you going to explain what in Merlin's name he's been up to in order to get himself into this sort of predicament?"

Marlene shook her head. As many times as she would have liked to share her secrets with Emmeline, she knew she wasn't able to reveal much more. "He was working," she said instead. "He has a very dangerous job."

"Have faith," she said with reassurance but Marlene couldn't bring herself to believe her. "I get it if you don't want me here," she continued after a few moments of silence. "I imagine you're not going over to Lily's anymore?"

For a moment Marlene felt confusion. She had been so preoccupied being lost inside her own mind that she hadn't the slightest inkling of time. Her mind had been completely wiped clear of anything that wasn't Sirius. She supposed that it must be Christmas. "No, stay," she said quietly. "Lily would probably hunt me down anyways if I didn't bother showing up."