Wrong Move

Wrong Move 4

Wrong Move 4

***

Minutes have passed pero wala akong narinig na sagot sa kanya, tumahimik sa kabilang linya that really made me feel bothered.

"I'm really sorry Ian, but I'm really happy about your feelings for me." He's still not answering. I started biting my lower lip again. "Actually, dapat kanina ko pa 'to sasabihin sayo but I didn't have the chance. Ayoko naman patagalin pa 'to kasi ayokong masaktan ka, though I know you're already having that feeling right now. Ian, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I swear that's not my intention. I was just so stupid for doing the Wrong Move. I'm so sorry..."

Wala pa rin akong natanggap na sagot sa kanya matapos ang lahat ng sinabi ko. At sa totoo lang, habang tumatagal na hindi sya sumasagot, mas kinakabahan ako. Kung anu-ano na kasing pumapasok sa isip ko at yung baka nagtangka na syang magpakamatay was just one of my stupid thoughts. I was about to speak again when I suddenly heard a sound of sob from the other line. Don't tell me...

"Ian are you—"

"Nakakatawa..." He made a sad chuckle as he sobbed again. "I was about to surprise you tonight, but it turned out na ako yung na-surprise."

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nya. "What do you mean?"

"Look outside your window."

Nagtataka man ay ginawa ko yung sinabi nya. Mula sa pagkaka-upo sa kama ay tumayo ako at sumilip sa labas ng bintana ng kwarto ko. The moment I stood up in front of my window ay nanlaki na lang ang mga mata ko dahil nakatayo sa labas ng gate ng bahay namin si Ian, holding a boquet of flowers as he looked at the direction where I'm standing, while crying. Siguro dahil na rin sa gulat ko kaya wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi takpan ang bibig ko ng kamay ko. This guy...

"Surprise!" He smiled at me while tears were flowing down his eyes.

For a moment, pakiramdam ko hindi ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko at yung level ng guilt na nararamdaman ko mas tumaas. Why is he doing this thing at this hour?

Nung medyo naka-move on ako sa gulat, agad na bumaba ako at lumabas ng bahay. Mom will probably scold me kapag nakita nyang lumabas pa ako ganitong oras but I'm too mixed-up na hindi ko na kayang isipin pa yun. Lumapit agad ako kay Ian with a worried face. "Are you crazy? Gabing-gabi na. Bakit ka pumunta dito? I know you're a guy, pero what if may nangyaring masama sayo? Ian..."

Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko at kahit ako ay naiiyak na sa mga nangyayari ngayon. How did my confession turn out to be like this? Hindi ko gustong saktan si Ian but it's so impossible to do.

"For you..." He still tried to give me a smile as he gave the boquet of flowers to me.

Instead of getting the flowers, niyakap ko na lang sya. The urge I fought on trying to stay calm and normal didn't last long because seeing him in that state was enough to make all my worries show instantly. "Iyakin ka naman pala, e." Banat ko sa kanya.

"Ikaw rin kaya."

I just chuckled as tears started to flow down my face. Seeing him crying, I realized that it was no good. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry..."

Umupo kami sa gutter habang nag-iiyakan. Wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi yakapin sya habang paulit-ulit na nagso-sorry sa kanya for hurting him. Ang weird pa kasi in the first place, it was him who was crying and is in need of someone to cry on but it turned out na ako pa yung dinamayan nya. And I was just so stupid for letting it happen.