Bi-Curious (BoyxBoy)

♥︎ Chapter 2 • Smile Mask ♥︎

_______________________________

Everyday, I wear a mask
I have a collection of them
They're my dirty little secrets,
These masks of mine,
My guilty little pleasures

But there's more of one kind than the other
I have a bunch of smiles, you see,
But none of them are truly mine
The happiness never really reaches my eyes—
I wear a face of lies

_______________________________

Bi-Curious
Chapter 2:
"Smile Mask"

Charlie

        Going to school didn't used to be this tiring. In elementary school, for example, it was simple. Writing, reading, arithmetic, social studies, and the simple sciences were what I focused on. I'd learn, have lunch, go to the playground, and then learn some more. If only the older grades had recess. It would probably better the students' grades and mental health. That's what my little brother used to always tell me.

        There was a time where school became dreadful and just so... suffocating. It all just became so real, everything a path to becoming a lawyer. As I got less excited to go to school, my father's excitement thrived like a sunflower patch. He would talk about 'the good old days' and give me advice that I didn't really ask for and talk about which courses I did and didn't need to take to be successful. If I actually wanted to be a lawyer, I'd be really grateful for his advice. People would kill for this knowledge, kill to be like the great James King, but not me. I value my father and love him greatly, but I just don't see it in me.

        Ever since I was young, I was told that I was my father's son. I was told that I looked like him, that I had his type of presence, his fresh sense of confidence. My grandma would always laugh when she saw me, jokingly saying, "wow, James, you look so young and rejuvenated!" It's flattering, don't get me wrong, but there's this one small thing...

        I'm not my father.

        "Oh shit, gotta get to class!"

        I'm brought out of my thoughts by some student rushing to class. Blinking, I grab my stuff from the bench and head to none other than biochemistry, the class where I'm sort of forced to speak to people. Correction, person. I'm forced to speak to Ethan, a guy I'm pretty sure I've seen hanging around a crowd that aren't my kind of people, to put it nicely.

        My seat creaks when I sit in it, so I swap it out for some other poor soul's before grabbing a new book and opening it, waiting for class to begin.

        Ethan runs in five minutes late and flashes the teacher a charming smile before taking his seat next to me. "Hey."

        "Hey, why are you late? You okay?" I ask.

        "I'm fine, just slept in late." He messes with his hair.

        "I see." My eyes look him over.

        "What?" He snaps.

        I jump slightly. "Fuck, don't snap at me. I was just looking at you." I glare.

       Ethan sighs. "Sorry, didn't mean to freak you out."

        Exhaling, I nod. "What's got you so on edge, if you don't mind me asking?"

        Ethan wipes his face with his hands. "Just my friends are being dickheads."

        "Ah." I bite my lip, unsure of how to give advice. I've never really had 'friends.' I'm not saying I'm a lonely loser, I'm just saying that I didn't want to be a girl's token gay friend or be asked a bunch of stupid questions like 'well, do you think I'm hot?' by the guys growing up. "If they're toxic, cut them out."